HOGMANIA & BAD SANTA

Where's Bruce?

Well-known member
I was invited to hunt hogs on a private ranch a good friend has access to. This is prime property and he only gained trespass permission by earning it and doing an extensive amount of time and labor to build a relationship with the owners by professionally fixing things around the large property. He convinced the owners to allow me, a new guy they never met, access to the ranch as well…a rare honor reserved for few others, I felt it was only right that I do the driving. So, I pick my friend up Friday at midday, load the truck with his gear and we’re off before the Memorial weekend crowd is on the street. On the way north, my buddy tells me all about the place and that the owners have very simple, common sense expectations, especially when it comes to keeping the place neat, organized and trash free. Nothing I can't handle. My buddy lets me know well before the trip that this is a working agreement, and that there is always some work to be done on the ranch, always. Okay, no problem, I may not know what I am doing work wise, for some things, but I certainly can take direction, and get the job done. So this is a 3 day holiday weekend hunt and we’re making good time on the road…no question we will have enough time to settle into his camp and get an evening hunt in.

What I didn’t know is that there was a third guy joining us. Picture in your mind Santa Claus after a bender…this is the “other guy” on this hunt. I am introduced to this guy who at first seems okay and goes on to kill a pig the first evening. Apparently he fell asleep and awoke to find pigs all around him, shooting one at 15 yards. Gary and I had decided to go uphill in search of hogs that evening, Santa went a short distance downhill to sit in a blind. As we work our way back down after dusk, we see Santa’s headlamp from up high. We finally make it back to camp and my friend is worried that Santa isn't in camp; so he takes off looking for him in the ranch’s Ranger…a 2 seater quad, leaving me to settle in and relax a bit. I later learn that Santa decided to stay put…he was worried coyotes would eat his pig before he could make the very short hike to camp to fetch a quad. So they loaded up the roughly 80lb pig and return. My bud calls me over to take a look and we both congratulate the guy. My bud then helps him get set up for skinning, butchering and comes back to camp and cooks dinner. He then takes Santa a plate of food and returns to the tent to eat his own. So about 2 hours has gone by at this point and my bud goes out to not only check on this guy, but help him too. I later find out that it took this guy over 2 hours to skin his pig 1/2 way. I am a bit surprised after previously hearing his glory stories upon our arrival at camp. My host/buddy completed skinning and quartering his pig, leaving Santa to clean-up.

Out of camp before dawn finds me doin’ the sneaky peek in a few spots my bud had shown me.

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Some sign, not much. Still it’s nice to stretch the legs and get acquainted with the property until the temps climb at midday.

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Back in camp I am enjoying an afternoon smoke, a fine cigar given to me as a gift by my father-in-law. I don’t often burn a $50. cigar but this seemed like a special occasion. Santa asks me if he can buy one off of me and I give him one just to be friendly (I still don't know him at this point). Not long after, my bud comes out of the tent and joins us outside, and notices the wrapper of this guy’s cigar tossed on the ground. So he mentions it and Santa comes back with a, “…Yeah yeah, I just set it there for now…” with major attitude. It’s like he thinks, he is the top dog and no one tells him what to do! REALLY. Long story short, Santa just leaves it there and goes on the late afternoon hunt. Would a normal person get pissy when asked to bend over and pick a piece of their litter, much less leave it to get blown to another part of the ranch. It was made very clear that the owners can't stand litter and would likely terminate my bud’s hunting privileges on this ranch for such a violation.

Just before the next evening hunt, Santa asks my bud if he thinks it will be cold that evening and my bud tells him straight up, “Yeah! We have clouds and moisture moving in, it will be downright cold.” This guy responds, “I don't think so” (why would he even ask then), and leaves without a jacket and wearing tennis shoes instead of boots. Guess what? My bud and I remained hunting until last shooting light, while this guy made the shivering walk of shame and was sitting in camp well before the sun went down. What can you say to a guy who ignores the obvious and returns to camp wearing shoes that are soaked and full of foxtails. I just shook my head. WTF? How cold was it? This cold:

[video=youtube;L7iJl3d0FlY]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7iJl3d0FlY&feature=youtu.be[/video]

Santa’s coffee cup had been left in camp from a previous trip and inside was a science experiment as he doesn’t do dishes or much policing after himself. So Santa just set's his disgusting cup down and picks up one our gracious host has there. Looking inside his old cup we’re thinking…that’s alien! Does he wash it this trip? Nope… not the new one either, not a single dish the whole trip. The alien is still growing inside it. There are numerous little things like this that by themselves are small but as they begin to stack up each tiny thing becomes increasingly annoying; and I am only highlighting a few of the things I noticed.. At the root of the problem is the whole absence of respect. Hear you are, on prime pig property free, with only the obligation to help out with a few ranch chores, and you’re pissing off your host and endangering his access to the ranch. WTF?!

Now the general idea is that in exchange for trespassing rights (given formally in writing) there are chores to be done. Santa was supposed to provide a gardening hose this trip…oops, forgot to get one. Really? Really dude?

Sunday night I’m smoking my last cigar (I packed 3 for the weekend) and Santa asks if he can bum another one off me. He got a definitive no. So now it’s our last night and we’re sitting in a circle discussing plans for the next morning…do we get up early and hunt or relax instead?. My friend & I decide to indulge our weariness and sleep in, it’s a long drive home and there are chores to be done in the morning…this third guy is on board with that, at least at this time. So we all hit the sack. I don't know exactly what time it was, but discussing it with my buddy on the ride home, we were awakened no later than 5:30 a.m. by a thundering sound coming from the tent next to ours. Gear being tossed back and forth, dropped, slammed, and then something with wheels being rolled across uneven ground and everything inside slamming against walls. No kidding, it was like thunder right outside the tent. Then car doors opening and being slammed shut, then the next trip... and finally this douche starts his truck. This douche didn't bother to try to keep the ruckus down at all, it’s like he was trying to be loud; no in reality, it's obvious he was trying to be loud. While he was treated with nothing but kindness and respect, I starting to hate him. My buddy has a whole list of things that need to be done before leaving the ranch and this guy walks up announcing that he is packed and ready to leave, well NO ############ING KIDDING. I know my buddy is beyond pissed,FINALLY, when he doesn't even bother to turn around and look at him, he just tells him, "Bye." I could not do that much…I just spit a mouthful of Scope at his feet. Good riddance loser.

So this guy is out the gate early to beat the holiday rush hour traffic at our expense. We are there going through the departure list and working our asses off to try and hit the road at a decent hour. There’s a lot of chores to break down camp, clean up the area and secure everything that requires attention on this property. My bud gives me a few things to do, and he checks the septic tank as it can be problematic. It’s literally a shitty job and he nets out some solid debris (by hand) that might clog it up. Then checks the inflow to be sure there are no clogs. Meanwhile I learned that this buddy of mine is keeping secrets from me, he has a hazmat cert to boot, behind all his other credentials; and he can sling shit with the best of them, literally speaking of course. During this disgusting little exercise in which I assisted, we discover that Bad Santa has put the wheel barrel away full of dried blood, fat and chunks of meat. Needless to say that after drying all weekend long, by this time it is rock hard.

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We filled the wheel barrel with water and let it soak while we completed other chores. After a couple hours of soaking, it still took a ton of scrubbing to get it clean. Can you imagine the owners’ faces if they went to pull that wheel barrel outta the shed looking like that? Or found his bloody gloves left in the yard with the extension cord to the light used to process his kill left on the lawn? He didn’t even police his brass in the blind. I found a 30-06 cartridge smack in the center of the damn thing. Slob hunters upset me. I got no time for em. This could have resulted in an instant ban from the ranch for my bud. To top it off, on the ride home, my buddy tells me this was not the first time this douchebag had bailed early leaving him to do all the wrap-up work before being able to leave. We got a late start as a result and just as we are leaving Santa sends a text saying he’s already home…missed the traffic. Well lucky you! We can’t…we had to do your chores. Now all this time the food we’ve been eating were brought by my friend (he got the meals, I got the gas) and Santa said he brought grub too (which he put in the freezer and went untouched) but guess what…he took it all home when he left! So apparently slobs eat free too. I know my buddy would never post this or complain but HOLY BUCKETS, isn’t he being taken advantage of? I was so pissed I could spit…and I did. I don’t understand some people. Both guys post here from time to time and I think they should read from feedback from others. Am I outta line in thinking his asshat should be kicked to the proverbial curb or would you let it slide?
 
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Planetcat

Well-known member
That story got my blood pressure up. Why does your buddy keep hunting with santa? I would have excommunicated him after the first trip (and have done so with similar guys I’ve hunted with). I think your not blowing up at santa and creating a scene will be rewarded with future hunts. That guy violated so many guest etiquette rules, you’d almost think he did it on purpose.
 

Stevehazard

Well-known member
Good to see you back on the forums posting again Bruce.

If it had been clearly informed to err Santa that he needs to pitch in and be responsible then yeah it may be time to cut that tie. I personally put in extra time just picking up shotgun hulls, trash, fishing garbage, trimming trails, etc on public lands so I I'm the type of person that would be more then happy to do chores on a ranch I was given access to with good hunting. Should he be kicked to the curb? Depends on how consistent this is of him. I'm all for giving people opportunities to improve but not against cutting problem people either. When I am a guest I am always trying to offer any help I can and be grateful of any knowledge or access I'm being given. And the few people I have taken with me to my spots have been the same when I'm in the host position.
 

Where's Bruce?

Well-known member
I got the definite impression that both his participation in shared chores and his belligerent behavior have steadily worsened with each hunt. But the antics seen and heard on Memorial Day at dark thirty were nothing less than infuriating. The asshat knew we wanted to sleep in and it was like he was trying to wake the dead. I was so upset I could not say a word to him...and that was before he left and we began cleaning up after him.

 
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THE ROMAN ARCHER

Well-known member
Holyyyyy chit! Welcome back Bruce, yeh it's too bad u had to have the third wheel on the trip. I agree with u 100% with all bad santas discrepancies u had to deal with that would take alot of patients, I feel 4 u bro!
But great write up and look forward to your next post... ..tra

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TheGDog

Well-known member
What a f***ing a**h**e!!! Dang man... was pissing me off just *reading* about that discourteous prickhole! Good riddance indeed. AND the dude got himself a pig and STILL didn't have the decency to give his thanks by throwing in some help and chores?? That's not a man. That's a boy.
 

Where's Bruce?

Well-known member
He doesn't even clean up after himself. Not the area where is pig was dressed, not the blind, not the friggin' coffee cup and get this...he's got a habit of sucking on lozengiers all the time and my buddy is constantly picking up the wrappers and bitching at him to stop dropping em all over the place. Goes in one ear and out the other. He's just dismissive. My friend is worried he’s gonna stroke out or have a heart attack on the ranch or something…he is entirely unfit.

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blazintowers

Well-known member
So whats the deal with the third wheel? Is he the one who originally got permission to hunt the property or related somehow to the property owner? If he is then he should know better, if he is just a friend of your buddy then someone needs to let him have it! Maybe he was just raised that way and is a slob with no consideration. Someone needs to smack some sense into that guy...
 
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Where's Bruce?

Well-known member
So whats the deal with the third wheel? Is he the one who originally got permission to hunt the property or related somehow to the property owner? If he is then he should know better, if he is just a friend of your buddy then someone needs to let him have it! Maybe he was just raised that way and is a slob with no consideration. Someone needs to smack some sense into that guy...
My friend invited him there, I told him that was his first mistake. I guess the guy was okay at first, then became a PITA. But I agree with you when you state: "Someone needs to smack some sense into that guy." Thus my return to this site to post this. I hope he sees this thread and realizes what a jackazz he's been although in my experience, guys like him never change. I kinda understand this kid.

 

Bankrunner

Well-known member
There's only one guy on here that reminds me a little of Santa but he hasn't been around in a while.
That gosh darn Opah :) He really doesn't come across as a "bad Santa" though, except he still smokes cigarettes or did until recently.
I wonder what it's like being on "Bad Santa's" naughty list?
 

Stevehazard

Well-known member
Plenty of other people out there that'll clean up after themselves to tolerate stuff like that. 2 man hunt next time or invite somebody that'll help reach down in the chitter pit... I mean particularly after being the guy to score a pig on the first night. In that position do the chores and let the host take his time hunting.
 

THE ROMAN ARCHER

Well-known member
Omg, after rereading this a second time between the lines it all makes sense to me now.
I was wandering why someone dissapeared from the forum, what an embarrassment to our jho community.
That's what happens when u invite a outcast from the Alaskan Bush People on a hunt, I new that fool wasn't right from the beginning, talked alot of sht and didn't now sht and now he being called out on his sht..
He better never post up on here agian or he will b put on blast.
Have u ever seen the movie Wrong Turn about some road kill eating bros....lol.... tra





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Where's Bruce?

Well-known member
I don't know the guy's screen name...I haven't posted here years. All I know for sure is that he reads JHO...don't even know if he posts. Could be a lurker for all I know and I don't know this Opah person either. I do recall he was something of a pistol though. Unlike some people I only have one voice in my head and it's telling me to get my arse to the Kaibab to scout. Drew another elk tag there, my 3rd in five years. Am I lucky or what? Chasing bulls in unit 8 with a recurve this year.
 

Bankrunner

Well-known member
Elk with a recurve sounds way cool. Very difficult to get up close and personal. What's the max range you have to work with?
 

flytrue

Well-known member
Too bad about the slob. On the other hand, did you enjoy walking around with the trad gear? I bet you did!
Btw, the first pic. I didn't see you at first. Good camo.
 

Where's Bruce?

Well-known member
A stickbow requires you get very close...15 yards is optimum but on a large animal I would stretch that to 25. The attraction is the up close & personal encounter. Went to full draw on my Alberta moose at 10 feet. Bull nearly stepped on me. It was life-changing. Took a bison at 18 yards too but both were with compound bows...this year I'm losing the training wheels and committing to trad. Quite a challenge, that's for sure.
 

Bubblehide

Well-known member
Omg, after rereading this a second time between the lines it all makes sense to me now.
I was wandering why someone dissapeared from the forum, what an embarrassment to our jho community.
That's what happens when u invite a outcast from the Alaskan Bush People on a hunt, I new that fool wasn't right from the beginning, talked alot of sht and didn't now sht and now he being called out on his sht..
l... tra



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TRA, from my understanding, the company OPAH was working for folded. So he got a new job in which he is no longer waiting around for something to break down. He is supposed to be busy now. So he no longer has the time to cruz the forum for half the day or longer.
 

Where's Bruce?

Well-known member
Oh...something else I just remembered. This was the third hog Santa had taken on this ranch. His third! And he still can't skin & quarter a small one in hours? No...my buddy has to "assist" which is bullcrap in my book. The first time...yeah okay. Nice of my friend to show ya how. Second time...you should be able to do most of it alone but maybe need a little guidance. By the 3rd time my buddy should not have to do a damn thing...you should know what you're doing by then. Some hunter (I use the term loosely). My guess is Santa shot all his pigs immediately after waking up from a nap in the blind. He snores like a herd of pigs. LOL

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P304X4

Moderator
Moderator
Have been on fishing and camping trips in past years; Bad Santa would have been with me on a trip only once. If he were on the same guest list I would decline on the outing. Either your fiend is beholding to Santa in some way or is a gluten for punishment. His whole attitude and the life form in the coffee cup are dead giveaways that this is who he is on any and all trips to the bush.
 


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