Moto Turn-in

jerry d

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With the supposed impending ban of "moto" on the horizon, I am volunteering to conduct a "no questions ask" turn-in of all "moto" type devices next Saturday.

Just come by and leave them in my driveway.

Please have the batteries fully charged. I intend to turn them into minature power plants and hopefully help avoid rolling blackouts this summer.

Althiugh no tax credits can be allowed, since these devices will apparently be a no - no in the near future, you'll no doubt have a "warm and fuzzy feeling" knowing you've helped others through your generosity.

Thanks for your cooperation.........  
 

Speckmisser

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Jerry,

I really wanted to turn in my moto, but my girlfriend won't let me.  She said this whole thing is just a ruse to get people to give you their motorized decoys.  She said that if I fall for this, I'd be a big dummy, and she might not love me so much anymore.

So, can you explain for her benefit how the motoduck turn in works?  I mean, I trust you.  You're a duck hunter, so I'm sure you're always 100% honest and would never try to pull  a dishonest scheme over on your fellow hunters.  I'm so shocked and saddened by her cynicism and distrust.  

Save the day, Jerry.  Say it ain't so.
 

jerry d

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Speckmisser,

A RUSE she sez!!! This woman of little faith. Does she not recoqnize an act of greatness when it appears.

I'm told by Nobel scientist's at a local world renowned research institute that my little scheme (oop's) project will probably have earth shaking consequenses. With all the "moto's" out there that will now be totally worthless -  all the developing countries in the world will now be more than able to refuse our foreign aid, become self sufficient thusly leaving our government with boo coo $$ to plow into habitat "for the mallards".

You, a big dummy??  Well, never having met you, I'll need to bow to her judgement there. But if she doubts the honesty and integrity of a duckhunter can she truly be worthy of a person such as yourself. After all, most worldwide polls continually indicate duck hunters are only a couple pegs below used car salesmen in honesty and scheming and we haven't fluctuated from that position over the years. I consider this stability quite an admirable feat.

If this explaination doesn't sell her, just remind her it's similar to gun turn-in's- it's "for the children".

Best of luck in your attempt to educate this doubter.  

PS  Perhaps she could put her talents to a wiser use and determine just who this "person" was that got himself thrown out of Little Dry Creek Check Station in 1998 and so rudely tooted on a duck call during a recent fund raiser auction.
 

Swampy

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Hey Jerry D. I would love to give you my Motos. Do you accept homemade ones without serial numbers? Do they have to work?  I for one would like to thank you for your effort to take these "decoys of mass destruction" off the marshes. It's about time someone has came forward to take the lead on this very important issue. You will be saving the lives of countless innocent ducklings. Remember, if it saves the life of one duckling, it will be a success. One last question, how are you going to dispose of these vile death machines? Chop saws, incineration, or compaction? I would love to witness and record that momentous event. Boy,  I  like to feel warm and fuzzy.    
 

jerry d

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Swampy,

I can tell you were so over come with joy while reading my offer that the tears in your eyes negated your ability to fully read and understand the purpose behind this scheme (oop's, bad choice of words - "project" would be more befitting).

Rather than destroying these "devil devices" by the methods you suggest, they will instead be converted into minature power generators (only I know of ways to accomplish this feat) and distributed to the developing countries of the world (for a small nominal fee of course) in order that these countries may become self reliant power producers thus selling us their excess power to alleviate our rolling blackouts.

Any factory/homemade moto in good working order (fully charged battery, please) will be accepted and yes, you may file the serial no. off if you wish (I'm just reading between your lines here and assume I understand your "serial numbers" concern).

Your warm and generous offer of donation is appreciated and your concerns have just assisted me in creating another "phrase" that I'm sure will soon be heard around the world - "It's for the ducklings".

People such as you keep me focused and will make this a huge success and, please, no thanks is necessary for my part in this little scheme (oop's) there I go again - should read "this little project".

Now that you fully understand the purpose of this scheme (oops, there's that incorrect word slipping in again!!) is to create a nominal profit for others, excluding me of course, I'm sure you will encourage all your friends to follow your generous lead and make their donation as well.

Warm and fuzzy feelings to you........ It's for the ducklings!!!
 
D

Desert Duck

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Jerry D,
After reading your post I was overcome with joy. It is few and far between that a person, such as yourself, is willing to step forward and take action to assist their fellow man. I applaud you.
Upon reveiwing your profile, I duly noted that you hail from the northern reaches of our "golden" state. I, on the other hand, dwell in the area that can only be defined as "hell" during the summer months (read, desert). Which leads me to my purpose for this reply. I would like nothing more than to be a humble volunteer in your scheme... err, project. You see, I too have an open driveway in which these offending devices can be deposited. As a bonus, where I live, the wind blows almost constantly, negating the need for batteries and thereby conserving further energy usage.
Since I reside in the desert and I need a shave, I am already "warm and fuzzy", thank you. Please let me know if I can be of any assistance in your crusade. After all it truly is for the "ducklings".
 

jerry d

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Ok Desert Duck,

Get your own scheme,oops, "project", this one's mine!!!!!

But since you're probably a nice guy, tell you what. You can work the area south of Fresno and I'll take everything north. Wait a minute, I shouldn't have said "work the area". What I meant was "receive the donations". Just a little slip of the tongue there.

After all are "donated" and sold to those developing nations, then we'll set down and decide where the funds go. Could be quite a wad in this one!!!

I have an idea and I think you will like it. ;)
 
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