Republican National Convention Schedule

Rancho Loco

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REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE, New York 2004

6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell
6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)
6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting your kid a military deferment
7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries
7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, it's what's for dinner.
8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children
8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
8:50 PM Seminar #2 Corporations: The government of the future
9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong
9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: The real cause of forest fires
9:30 PM Break for secret meetings
10:00 PM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas
10:15 PM Lecture by Karl Rove: Doublespeak made easy
10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho
10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark deer-in-headlights stare
10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory Kevlar chastity belt
10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black Republicans
10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong
10:50 PM Seminar #3 Education: A drain on our nation's economy.
11:10 PM Hillary Clinton piZata
11:20 PM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft: Evolutionists: The dangerous new cult
11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again.
11:35 PM Blame Clinton
11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies
11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself
12:00 AM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

 

MULEY51

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Don't let 'em get to you Rancho...I thought it was hilarious!!!
 

WinMag1

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I'll admit, it caused me to chuckle just a tad
but, I think you've been hangin with Michael Moore too long.
 

larrysogla

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RanchoLoco,
Are you gonna vote DemocRATs??? John Kerry is anti-gun, anti-life for the born to be, anti-straight and anti-military. Good gracious!!! I know it's only an avatar but that is what it sounds like..........Franklin Roosevelt gave away Eastern Europe to the Soviets, Harry Truman's no defense of the Korean peninsula policy emboldened North Korea to invade the South, John F. Kennedy gave up the Bay of Pigs(Cuba), Lyndon Johnson gave up our military's chance to win in Vietnam & Bill Clinton gave up our mission in Somalia to succeed. We will prevail in Iraq. All it's neighbors do not want anarchy on their borders & are witholding support to the insurgents in Iraq. These insurgents have demonstrated their willingness to attack their fellow Muslims with carbombs & are linked to the attackers in Saudi Arabia. All these neighboring countries know that they will be the next target if these insurgents succeed in Iraq. These insurgents are isolated & we will slowly but surely put them out of business. The American people also understand that these bad guys will swarm our shores & bring their crazed ideology here if we do not stop them there. This is not Vietnam where the Soviets & Red China were allowed to re-supply the North Vietnamese with boatloads & truckloads. Iraq will be pacified & returned to civilized society just like what is happening in Afghanistan. Sorry for the long winded statement.

larrysogla.
 

larrysogla

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Oh by the way....I forgot to say that all those Presidents that I mentioned above that flunked our foreign policy interests are Democrats.
larrysogla.
 

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