Sick with BOVID-19, an attempted car-jacking and the Admiral shoots two turkeys in one day but does it legally.

asaxon

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No, those are not mistakes in the title; you will have to read on to find out what happened.​

The Admiral and I drove up to near Shingle Springs to hunt with our friend the Jägermeister, aka “JM” for the spring turkey hunt. When we arrived, we did some scouting and cornered several really funky looking small turkeys (Picture 1). As it was a day before the season opened, we had to hold fire though we did manage to get some fresh eggs from them under the threat of grievous bodily harm.

Day 1 hunt. We’d decided this year no more getting up at O’Dark thirty and trying to catch birds coming off the roost at daylight. We figured to wait for the turkeys to get up, get restless and begin to walk about with JM and the Admiral going to the upper spots and me to the lower. About 8 am I set out my decoys and sat under tree on a large open area along which we had heard and seen lots of turkeys the year before. But it was dead quiet. Then, over the rise comes a whole mess of not turkeys but friendly bored cows who were tired of sheltering in place. Paying no attention to the Governor's orders, these cows were rubbing against and drooling on each other. Then they saw my decoys. These socially irresponsible cows walked right up and started licking the decoys. (Picture 2 ) Next, they visited me under the tree all the time infringing on my 6-foot personal space while I threw sticks at them to try to make them back off. After about half an hour standoff, the cows decided I was boring and departed. Little did I realize the serious repercussions this visit would have for me later that night.



Meanwhile back in the upper property JM and Gaye had camped out but JM got so cold he had to take a walk. While walking/warming, he sees a group of Jakes and a nice mature Tom walking toward him. Of course, they see him and immediately head off while he jumps behind a tree. Fortunately for him, momentarily another nice Tom comes strolling up the same way. JM gives a couple of hen calls and this Tom walks right up. “Boom”, one bird down. Later we realized that the bird had seen JM and that is why the bird came right to him. Why you ask? Well, note in the picture, JM is wearing a Trump/Pence MAGA hat. (Picture 3) This was very clever turkey “camo” that attracts turkeys in a bipartisan fashion. A far-right wing turkey seeing the hat would come up to give him a high five. A far-left wing turkey seeing it would come up to him to scold him for being an uninformed redneck. JM never found out which type of turkey his was; he kept his distance and shot the bird at more than 6 feet.

After an early lunch, we all headed up toward the other end of the property where we had seen a lot of birds the evening before. JM and Gaye set up on a hillside while I walked down into the valley. Twenty minutes later I hear “boom” and then get a text that the Admiral had just made a lovely 45 yard shot on a bird that had come in across a ridge line. Happy Admiral. (Picture 4) After cleaning that bird, we take the car into the pasture from whence JM and I go to look for birds while the Admiral chills in the car as it is raining a bit. This which turned out to be very fortunate. While JM and I wandered various hillsides seeing lots of birds that did wanted to come and play, little did we know that the Admiral was under attack. Three Jakes came up right up to the car and tried to steal it; an attempted Car-Jaking. You can see in the picture she took that the birds are right outside the car window which has lots of rain drops on it. (Picture 5) Fortunately for those birds, the Admiral had already shot a bird that day, so she did not fire but she threatened them with grievous bodily harm if they did not leave her alone – it would have been a legal “stand your ground shooting.” The birds finally left but were clearly rather unhappy about not getting away with her Subaru. Driving on the way out of the pasture to head home at 10 minutes to 5, we spot a pair of nice Toms walking up the side of the low hills in front of us. JM stops the car and I ran out over the back of the hill figuring to cut them off in an ambush. I get up to the top, drop down by a tree, and carefully peak over. I see now five big Toms but they are 200 yards off and moving away. I say “Barnacles!”, stand up and what will I hear nearby; “putt – putt”, “putt – putt”, the turkey alarm call. The birds I was chasing that were right below me, not more than 50 yards away. They were now hightailing it out of Dodge. If I had only sat still for a few minutes. Oh well just another busted bird. Dinner was from the famous Poor Red's BBQ as tradition dictates but because of social distancing, we got takeout. Here is what a Poor Red's burger looks like. (Picture 6).

That night however is when my real trouble began. I started to feel ill. I developed a fever and had this feeling in my chest like I had the cough. However, each time I tried to cough, a mooing sound came out instead. Not only did I moo rather than cough but I had the intense desire to eat lettuce and especially grass. OMG. I suddenly remembered, I had handled the decoys the cows had licked, had not washed my hands and touched my face. I now have the dreaded BOVID-19 disease. I am under CDC (Center for Disease of Cows) orders to remain in complete isolation from cows as they do not want me to be patient zero for a BOVID-19 pandemic.

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END OF PART 1
 



asaxon

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PART 2

Day 2 hunt.
The Admiral and I did not get out to the ranch until about 8:30 AM. After walking down to a tree line where JM and Gaye heard lot of gobbling the morning before, we set up near our decoys. An hour later, we hear not gobbling but the amorous call of a large bull that has come to visit. I think the smell of the cows on the decoys got him excited for he came up and gave the decoys a good sniff and lick too. As this bull was looking about and sounding very aroused, I was now fearing for the Admiral's and my safety. I scrambled up into the notch of the tree I was sitting under while the Admiral simply “stood her ground” and the Bull wandered off. Ten minutes later, I heard a gobble that is not too far away and soon I saw a red head poking over the hillside 40 yards away. But I am still up in the notch of the tree and cannot get a good shot because of the big limbs of the tree were in the way. Frustration! Finally, the Tom moves a little bit and “boom,” down goes another bird. I then demonstrated how NOT to carry a dead bird if one is on public land. Pictures 1 and 2

After lunch, JM joined us. He and the Admiral went off in one direction while I went in another. An hour later I hear boom, a short interval and then another boom. Turns out the Admiral has shot two “birds” with two separate shots. Hold the phone, the legal daily limit is ONE. Has the Admiral turned into some kind of poacher? No, she did it legally. Here is what I was told and I saw the evidence to prove it….

While the Admiral was sitting (?dozing) in a little blind with JM calling from behind, she looked up and suddenly saw five male birds no more than 25 yards in front of her. They were perfectly still, standing sideways to her, all looking in the same direction, and lined up as if in a picture. She picked out the one that was fatter than than the others and let him have it. Four of the birds moved off while the one she shot never took a step. But neither did it fall over. WTF? She had just full on hammered JM’s fancy expensive rubber decoy. Quickly realizing her error, she said words to the effect of “oh bother how dreadful” and then turned to the side and dropped one of the moving and heretofore alive turkeys. At this point, she was having trouble getting up because she was laughing so hard while JM was concerned about his expensive decoy. After recovering the dead real bird, they examine the never been alive one. They did not see any holes in it. Did she miss? No way! When JM picked up the decoy, it rattled like a Maraca. This expensive decoy had been penetrated by multiple pellets but the holes sealed over leaving the pellets inside. Thus, the picture of the Admiral with the dead bird in front of her had the never alive one on her left: (Picture 3). I did upload a sideways video of JM and his rattling decoy which is at the end of this post after this pictures. If you have the sound way up when you listen to the video, you will clearly hear the pellets rattling about when he tips it back and forth toward the end. Thus, the Admiral shot two “birds” legally in a day. She says this is the funniest turkey adventure she has ever had and she is still laughing about it. We ended by cleaning the birds and driving up to Marysville to hunt for a day with another friend, PJ.

Day 3 hunt. PJ has a small property up near Brown’s Valley where we met up at property around 8 a.m. Being good citizens, we practiced Social Distancing hunting (Picture 4). Typical beautiful oak and grass woodland. (Picture 5). One big Tom came by in the morning but PJ, who was with the Admiral, being a gentleman, wanted the her to shoot it. But she wasslow turning around because it came in silently via the back way and thus got away. Later in the day, while the Admiral and I were taking a break, a group of Jakes came up to the blind that PJ was manning. They may have the same ones who had tried to do the Car-Jaking as they kept clustering around where PJ was. We think they were looking for his car. PJ finally pulled the trigger when he had a clear shot at one and one only. The pictures show what happens when you use 12 g TSS ammo at five yards. He literally clipped the neck off except one little piece of skin. (Picture 6 & 7).

The day was capped off for PJ and the Admiral by seeing a group of six Toms displaying with a flock of hens about 100 yards away. Earlier, we had seen a number of hens lying down and resting nearby us and then getting up and preening their feathers. They were clearly getting ready for a party. For 20 minutes the gobblers were just strutting, calling and the hens were running around and even chasing some of the gobblers. It was some kind of turkey rave party. Did not see it but PJ and the admiral said it was truly a stunning sight and a great finale to a wonderful hunting trip.

Next morning, we headed back to Santa Monica and we were reminded of what “city” traffic looks like. (Picture 8)

No animals were harmed unnecessarily in the telling of this tale but the Admiral hurt herself laughing
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asaxon

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What meds do you consume if you have covid’s?
For BOVID-19 disease, due to the SACS (Severe Acute Cow Syndrome)-CoV-1 virus, I recommend consuming lots of chocolate ice cream three times a day. If you are lactose intolerant or milk allergic, any sherbet is a reasonable secondary choice.
For COVID-19 disease (in case you were seriously asking), due to the SARS-CoV-2 virus; for fever, acetomenphen (Tylenol), for generalized aches naproxin (Naprosyn) or any other NSIAD including aspirin and for cough, any cough medicine with detromethorphan. If you get really ill , e.g. short of breathe esp since pulmonary involvement is the primary real danger, then off to the doctor after warning them that you are coming so they can keep you away from others... I for one am not for taking hydroxychloroquine and azithromycin as the data is weak, there are always side effects if given to enough people and unless seriously ill under a doctors care, it would be premature at this point to take on ones own..
 

P304X4

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Congrats to all and thanks for another great story. Glad you got over the BOVID-19 before getting a case of the turkey trots!!
 

Common Sense

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I meant to type Bovid not covid, so I was just joking. But I appreciate your thoughts on the serious side.

Stay safe, I want you to keep posting the great posts you make. (But don't overconsume the ice cream.)
 

asaxon

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Here you go Common Sense. This should work with BOVID-19 as it comes right from the source! Not sure if you rub it on or OMG, eat/drink it or just take a bath in it.

In India, Hindu nationalist politicians highlighted the perceived purifying qualities of cow excrement, which Hindus consider sacred. “We all know cow dung is very helpful,” said Suman Haripriya, a legislator in the northeastern Indian state of Assam, according to the Press Trust of India.
 

THE ROMAN ARCHER

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Always a great hunting adventure story asaxon, great pics! I just want that sandwich, damn that looks great! ....tra
 


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