To Spank or Not to Spank

gwhunter69

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To Spank or Not to Spank
By Sterling Rome
CNSNews.com Commentary
July 02, 2002

I was wandering through my local supermarket the other monrning when I noticed a young woman checking the dates on some bread. In the seat of her shopping cart was her young son, who I reckoned to be about 5 and whose name I quickly learned was Brian.

There is a reason I have not forgotten his name.

It seems young Brian had become bored and was demanding that his mother take him back to the toy aisle. I only know this because Brian started screaming the word "Toyyyyyyyyyyyyyy," the way a World Cup announcer might call a game-winning goal.

When Brian's lungs finally ran out of wind, his mother did not even look at him, instead seizing on the silence to counter with "Lower your voice, Brian," in a whining, un-authoritative whimper.

Unimpressed with his mother's instruction, Brian began screaming again, this time throwing a box of cookies out of the cart.

Amazingly, although the box of cookies landed near her, Brian's mother still did not look at her son and simply repeated her simpering plea to "Lower your voice, Brian" while the boy's face turned purple.

As his mother continued to browse without looking at him, Brian lobbed another item out of the cart. I wasn't quite sure what it was until I heard the sound of breaking glass and noticed a thin spatter of Ragu spaghetti sauce all over my pants. Slack-jawed, I simply stared back and forth between Brian and my pants.

Brian had finally gotten his mother's attention, and I watched as she followed the trail from the floor to me. There was then a brief moment of satisfaction for me, presuming I would now have the pleasure of watching this little miscreant get it - but good.

Brian's mother grabbed the cart and said, "Do we need to have a time-out?" and began to push it down the aisle. The End. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

Brian continued screaming and even managed to push some bread off the shelves as they strolled away; Brian's mother never said a word to me.

This sort of behavior - by mother and son - is indicative of the continued trends in child rearing and discipline. Just last week, the American Psychological Association's Elizabeth Gershoff reported the findings of her study, which indicates parents should never spank their children, as it could lead to anti-social or belligerent behavior later in life.

Gershoff recommends that parents who are considering spanking a deserving kid "think of something else to do - leave the room, count to 10, and come back again."

She claimed to have found links between spanking and negative behaviors, although she admits that one positive result of spanking is that children usually stop the behavior in question almost immediately.

Certainly, no one in their right mind wants to condone any sort of parental abuse of children. Nonetheless, as is usual in the utopian, politically correct world of academia, theory bends and distorts reality; reality is not what we experience, it is what these academicians tell us we are supposed to experience.

In some European countries spanking has been deemed an illegal corporal punishment, and the American Academy of Pediatrics supports such legislation.

Such laws are the natural progression of a philosophy that embraces child self-esteem more than learning and discipline. In the wake of this we are left with a young generation filled with glib, smart-mouthed, arrogant little slackers who have as little respect for their elders as they do actual knowledge of the world.

Parents are encouraged by psychologists to allow their children to "discover" the truth on their own, rather than be "limited" by parental authority. Thus, the job of teaching these children right from wrong is often foisted on the rest of society by default.

But spanking or similar forms of mild punishment are often the only way in which parents can establish boundaries with their children. Despite what tinkering psychological theorists tell us, this is not because adults make bad parents.

It is because part of a child's job description is to push the edge of the behavioral envelop and because they're not as bright as we'd like to think; they tend to do dumb things, and get in trouble, which is what growing up is all about.

What kind of idiot would argue that instead of teaching children about the world in advance, including what actions will result in punishment, you should instead stand back and let them "discover" it for themselves?

Frankly, I would prefer a child be spanked for playing with matches than watch as my house burns down because his parents would rather have the consequences discovered .

Even though you and I know that a swat on the rump would have likely prevented the mess Brian made in the bread aisle, we are told to instead concern ourselves with the meaning of that swat and whether it might make Brian anti-social or belligerent 30 years from now.

Whatever it means, it isn't making Brian any less anti-social or belligerent today.

And it won't get the Ragu out of my pants.

Copyright 2002, Sterling Rome.
 

DeerKing

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I think its a great idea if your girlfriend or wife is into it.........oh sorry I thought this was about something else.
 

gwhunter69

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:rofl You are killing me DeerKing...what was that website again????JK
 

Marty

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"...we are told to instead concern ourselves with the meaning of that swat and whether it might make Brian anti-social or belligerent 30 years from now."

Now let's think about that for a moment.  Tell me which action may result in greater propencity for anti-social behavior:  A) Spanking the child as an expression of intolerance toward the exhibited behavior, or B) Not spanking the child, which may be interpretted as a sign of permissiveness by the child.
 

Handcannon

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Guess I am going to show my age here a little. When I was raised up if not only did ya get a lickin you usually had to cut your own switch! I personally think that part of the problem today is just what we are voiceing our opinions about right here. Most parents today drop their kids off at a daycare for someone else to raise,and there has been alot of talk about parents wanting their kids to go to school yearround. There was a time when the economy was so bad that both parents had to work to survive,I don't see that now, I think both parents work today because they can"t handle the tough job of raising their offspring and sheer greed of the almighty dollar . Anyhow I vote to spank when it is needed.
 

huntducks

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Brain needed his A$$ beat in a anti social way.:skeered:
 

spectr17

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Up until I left home at 17 the only thing that went  through my mind when I was about to do something stupid, rude or hurtful was, "Could I survive the licking I would get when caught?" Yes, it did alter my behaviour for the better.
 

EL CAZADOR

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A belt to the arse once in a while (okay, a little more than once in a while) never hurt me.  Neither did a little tugging on the ears!!!  I don't have any kids yet, but the 'ol lady and I already agree that spanking is on the list IF necessary, I hope that the evil stare will work first.
 

RIFLEMAN

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Nothing makes you think twice about the course of your actions like the thought of having to pick your own switch from the tree, let me tell ya!!!
 

JustBob

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I'm for going back to the old days of swats in schools too. Something about those huge gym teachers with those 2x6 (?) paddles made you think twice before doing something stupid.
 

gwhunter69

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My Dad was slow to spank us, and we always knew just how far we could push until we got spanked.  Unfortunately, we did not always guess right and we also had to cut our own switch.  One time, we thought we were so smart and cut off all the usuable switches on the bush he used...well, a wooden spoon hurts just as bad.  LOL!  My mom on the other hand had a short fuse...she was like E.F. Hutton, when she said something we hopped to pretty darn quick.  All the switches that went across my backside never caused any long-term damage.  Frankly, I think that if you don't give them a little swat every once in a while, then you are neglecting your duties as a parent.  Most times, it causes more hurt feeling than sore bottom, especially when they are younger.  My 2-year old daughter acts like I whipped her good when I lightly swat her bottom or even when I say, "No!" in a stern voice.  Are we now not going to be able to raise out voices to our kids as well???
 

Maverick

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My wife has a friend with two children like Brian. I refuse to go to there house the kids are so bad. My wife watches these kids sometimes at my house and they tried to do the samething here they do at there own house climb on my furniture ride my dog throw things. I had to remind them how I love to spank kids and that the last set of kids that didn't listen I fed to the dog. One day while there were at the house they started acting up. and I asked he youngest if she remembered what happened to the last kids that missed behaved at my house. She told me yes your mean and you killed them, then the dog ate them so you couldn't go to jail. Well, I just laughed my butt off.. this didn't change them though there still brats.

(Edited by coveybustinchris at 3:02 pm on July 3, 2002)
 

EVAN III

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  I've picked my switch more then my share of times. ( OK I deserved it) .  I'll tell you one mistake I only made once. The first time I picked my own, I picked the thinest one I could find, thinking it would hurt less. Boy was I wrong. You can bet the next time I picked my own it was about the size of a broomstick.

                            EVAN III
 

paulc

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i have 3 kids 4, 8 and 13 and one of the things i am the proudest of is hearing that they are the best behaved kids in just about any group.. yes i do spank, depending on the kid some need it more often than others.   call it respect, fear or whatever. it is the only realistic way to raise your kids..
the nut jobs that will not spank must feel so guilty about the lack of time they spend with their kids or that their toys take priority to their kids they will not touch them. and of course somwhere along the line it became socially unacceptable to spank and public schools tell you how to raise your children.. that is why regardless of the sacrifices neccesary from me and my wife all my kids go to private school..

my 2 cents on the subject.
 

pitdog

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I have adopted my parent’s method since it worked on us. Neither my siblings nor myself have ever been arrested or sent to the principal’s office or any other disciplinary action. As Jesse said I would always consider the consequences of my actions first.
Not to say we were perfect, just taught to behave and respect adults.

With my kids, I first take away a favorite toy then the next step would be to ground them and if they need it, I will spank them. Like Paul, my kids are very well behaved. All of our friends and their schoolteachers comment on how well behaved they are. Socially, they are well above average. (I admit, the Tae kwon do lessons 4 days a week helps)

My motto is "let the punishment fit the crime, but ALWAYS carryout the punishment".

I owe much of this good behavior to teaching them respect for adults. Unlike most modern parents, we teach our kids to address adults as Sir, Madame, Mr. Or Mrs.
I still, to this day, call my friends parents Mr. or Mrs. and that's not a bad habit, it's respect.

Spank them when they need it and you'll save money on bail later.

:rant-mode:
steve
 

Thonzberry

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I myself have taken on the "SPANK" rule. I talk with my kids and let them know what the rules are of life in the house and outside of the house. If my kids get out of line to the point they need a spanking, I talk to them, give them time outs, take there toys away(they have to earn them back). I agree the punishment must fit the crime so to speek. As a Christian I have strong biblical beliefs, is it wrong to spank your child, no, is it wrong to beet your child into submition, yes.   In Proverbs 13:24 it say, He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him. Chilren need boundries. I got my but wooped many times and deserved everyone of them, and no I am not anti social or a serial killer. It made me relize you play you pay

Fullsack, My kids totally understand my point when I give them the"EVIL EYE" which means straighten up or you know what comes next, and let me tell you it works great. My kids are very well behaived and it has been awhile since I have had to be the inforcer.

One thing is for sure that what helps in my house is that my wife and I are on the same page with and on top of our house hold, which akes a big differance.

Good Luck to all who have kids. The worst thing we can do is to not get involved in the lives and know what and who they hang out with.


(Edited by Thonzberry at 10:04 am on July 5, 2002)
 

tinner

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like thonzberry said, my kids too know the meaning of the evil eye, but it took a few run throuhgs. these new ads for knowing where your kid is and what they are doing kill me. when we were younger my wife and i both would have no problem calling our parents and saying "yes i am where i am supposed to be can i stay longer?" in reality we were out somewhere else that would have gotten us a real nice pine box. fortunately we weren't caught. my children respect(spelled F E A R) me and my wife, though they are not the little angles i would like, they do pretty good. and they do know what a hand on the butt feels like

(Edited by tinner at 6:01 pm on July 5, 2002)
 

MBullism

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When I was growing up, my old mans belt was the law.  You had to push it pretty far to get there, but it was always there.  Waiting.  And my brother and I knew it.  I've managed to stay out of trouble the last twenty years on my own because of it.  My kids are about as well behaved as any 3 and 6 year old can be expected to be.  My wife and I are complimented on their politeness constantly.  I don't have to beat them into submission, but they know that all actions have consequences.  Period.  We take away toys, we take away television, we take away snacks, etc. but at the end of the day when all else fails, a metered swat on the rump sets the ship back on course.  There is a limit.  There has to be.
 

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