Vampire Hunting

asaxon

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I was not sure where to post this as JHO doesn't have a section of vampire hunting. I first thought Varmints etc. but then thought I might offend any vampires who read it if I put it there so here goes in Campfire.

Sadly, I don’t have a story about hunting vampires but I do know what gun I would use. The Admiral and I visited the NRA firearms museum outside Washington DC – talk about a politically incorrect place to go. It has fascinating pieces of history (Annie Oakley’s firearms, a firearm that came over with the original pilgrims to Plymouth etc.) plus priceless firearms made for Kings, Maharajas etc. that are really works of fine art exquisitely engraved and inlayed with pure gold etc.

http://www.nramuseum.com/museums/national-firearms-museum.aspx

Our “favorite” was the Vampire Hunter in its case shaped like a coffin with everything you need including a mirror to check if someone is a vampire (they don’t reflect in mirrors for the few of you who don’t know this). However, in Kalifornastan, you cannot get a license to hunt vampires as they come under our “Sanctuary” policy, I checked. Will have to go out of state.

Vampire 1 (1024x768).jpgVampire 2 (1024x961).jpgVampire 3 (1024x575).jpg
Vampire 4 bullets (1024x768).jpgVampire 5 engraving (1024x763).jpg
 



MariotheBarber

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That’s a interesting kit, reminds me of one I saw on pawn stars that was a “old west” gambler’s kit, with a derringer type pistol and boot knife
 

Frank X. Morris

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Howdy as axon,
Yeah, here in cal. these vampires become political hacks and suck us dry.
 

asaxon

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That’s a interesting kit, reminds me of one I saw on pawn stars that was a “old west” gambler’s kit, with a derringer type pistol and boot knife
I saw it to but it was on Porn Stars and Stormy Daniels was in it. So be honest about what you watch...
 

OPAH

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It must be for those Washington DC Vampires, all the rest for the countries Vampires cant stand silver, the DC Vamps have to have gold
Is that a 38 short, or maybe a 32 very small caliber, AH yes it is for DC Vampires you do now need high power just has to be accurate to hit those small as hearts they have in Washington.
 

P304X4

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It must be for those Washington DC Vampires, all the rest for the countries Vampires cant stand silver, the DC Vamps have to have gold Is that a 38 short, or maybe a 32 very small caliber, AH yes it is for DC Vampires you do now need high power just has to be accurate to hit those small as hearts they have in Washington.

I thought most of politicians in DC were living heart donors....how do you kill a vampire with no heart?
 

asaxon

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Washington Vultures

Well, when the Admiral and I was visiting our friends there, we noticed a lot of big birds circling high up everywhere we went; Arlington, Dulles Airplane museum [really cool and huge - https://airandspace.si.edu/udvar-hazy-center] and NRA museum. Closer inspection showed them to be turkey vultures. This is not a joke. The Admiral and I laughed and figured that Vultures must the National Bird of Politicians. When we asked our friends about it, they said it was from all the roadkill of the various political figures getting "thrown under the bus" but then confessed that they have lots of greenways with roads through them and lots of road kill as a result.

One good thing about Kalifornistan is we are 3000 mi from Washington DC.
 

P304X4

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National bird of politicians is a variant of the ostrich....the only difference is that they stick their heads into the orifice at the other end of their bodies.
 


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