You Might be a Turkey Hunter if ......

spectr17

Administrator
Admin
Joined
Mar 11, 2001
Messages
69,719
Reaction score
552
You have the Physic Turkey Hotline number in your phone's speed dial list,

You nearly cause a 3 car pileup while pulling a "u-ie" in the road to take another look at that black object in the far end of a field,

You got excited when your wife's doctor told her to try using a diaphragm,

Your office or den looks like a war room with topo maps, aerial photos and notes slung everywhere,

Your trail mix is made out of cracked corn, ticks, and wax worms,

Got any more??
 

MBullism

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 30, 2001
Messages
1,905
Reaction score
0
You might be a turkey hunter if you can get a decent sounding yelp out of your wifes diaphram!
 

Welby

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 12, 2001
Messages
3,341
Reaction score
2
You automatically wake up every morning at 4:00am and take naps in the afternoon throughout the spring season.

You practice hooting in the yard at night.

When practicing your hoots, you hear the shrill fast bark of your neighbor's weiner dog and instantly think you just located another gobbler.

You buy (or make) at least a dozen new calls each year, but always end up using the same two or three you have had since you first started turkey hunting.

You begin to wonder if gobbler's don't have it all figured out about social hierarchy.

When trying to impress your wife, you inadvertently break in to a full strut and make gobble noises.

You spend more time practicing for that ultra-realistic gobble on your tube call than you do sounds that you'll actually use.  Anyone can yelp, but someone who can gobble is a Master. (ha ha)

You cry when the reeds on your "lucky" diaphragm call finally break.  Nevermind that it has been used for ten seasons...

Your wife begins to distance herself from you as you get less sleep and more irritable as the spring season progresses.

You don't think buzzards and turkeys look anything alike and think those who believe otherwise are weird.

At a stoplight, you notice that your turkey calling has attracted the wondering eyes of every other driver waiting for the green light.

Your dogs and cats come running when you practice your hoot call.  (This is true...used to when I'd go feed my cats at night, I would practice my hoots.  They begin to associate feeding time with owl hoots and would come running anytime they heard me hoot.  You can imagine what happened later when the real owls gathered and began cutting up!)

It doesn't bother you anymore if you didn't kill a deer all season long...you just can't wait for spring to arrive.

You notice the 2" spurs on your grandpa's roosters and wonder if anyone would know the difference if they were in your display case next to your other turkey spurs.

You ask your dentist for dental dams, he looks at you strange, and then you proceed to explain that you are not gay and that you only want them to make new turkey calls.  He breathes a sigh of relief.

At the office, you can make turkey noises all day long and co-workers don't even bat an eye.

And finally....

You might be a REAL turkey hunter if you think calling contests are a joke.
:rofl

No offense intended on that last one.  No criticism accepted either.

(Edited by Welby at 9:15 am on Mar. 17, 2002)
 

Welby

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 12, 2001
Messages
3,341
Reaction score
2
One more....

Your hard drive is crammed with turkey pictures and .wav recordings of your calling practice.
 

Welby

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 12, 2001
Messages
3,341
Reaction score
2
The sad thing is that all the things I mentioned are based on real life experiences.

I don't mean to be a thread hog, if there is such a beast.

One more...

You wonder what other use there is for a condom other than for a turkey call.

(Edited by Welby at 4:24 pm on Mar. 15, 2002)
 

TNDEERHUNTER

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 15, 2002
Messages
1,459
Reaction score
0
Gang I'm laughing to hard to think of any.


HeHeHeHe!!!

:7-bouncin:

(Edited by TNDEERHUNTER at 4:31 pm on Mar. 15, 2002)
 

MBullism

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 30, 2001
Messages
1,905
Reaction score
0
you start thinking of turkey season the second to the last day of deer season...


(Edited by MBullism at 10:31 pm on Mar. 15, 2002)
 

kilbuc

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 30, 2001
Messages
216
Reaction score
0
Welby-- I sure can't top yours, those were classic.    But here's one.

If you pick a turkey in your front room while watching a NASCAR race.
 

Drake Slayer

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 14, 2001
Messages
308
Reaction score
0
You're happy your kids don't believe in the easter bunny anymore so you can get in an extra morning of turkey hunting.
 

MBullism

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 30, 2001
Messages
1,905
Reaction score
0
you went out scouting this morning at daybreak, heard nothing but ducks and coyotes, and considered the morning a success...
 

Latest Posts

Top Bottom