Funny hunting stories

[Heathen]

I like funny hunting stories.

Back in the 80's I worked for a hunting guide service. We were getting into taping or hunts to help sell the hunts at hunting shows.We got a client that was going to let us tape him on a hog hunt using dogs. The guy dressed like Dirty Harry....he even had the same 44 mag. This guy was cocky and he treated me like a peon. I was just a peon but wasn't used to people treating me that way.
Anyway the dogs catch this hog in some thick brush. Ken (my boss) is urging this guy to hurry up ....so the dogs don't get too banged up.This guy just struts on down to were the action is....after all he's staring in his own movie. About that time the hog breaks free and runs right at his guy......hits him hard.....kinda just bowls him to the ground.Hog kept on running.This guy gets up slow with a funny look on his face....we thought he'd been hurt......just his pride........he wet the whole side of his pants.......all on tape.

 

[hoofhearted]

Heathen good story,

I was out hunting Ducks one fall morning with my boss (good guy) and we were at a small pond surrounded by a thick bunche of tullies, we had been doin Okay with birds flying in at about every 15 min. or so and even hitting a few.
Things started to slow down around 9:00 am so you know when it gets slow you your not wathcing the Decoys as much as you should, and sure enough here comes a flight of Tiel stright at us we jump up just in time to surprise all but one who flew right into my boss and knok him down after seeing that he wasn't hurt I laughed my buns off. (the bird flew off before we could grab him)

 

[F350]

Sorry Heathen,
Best I can do is falling in the creek on my last hunt.
Kept my rifle dry though. Just stunk like hell and hunted wet for several hours.

 

[Heathen]

Hoofheated that was funny.I could see that.
My first wood duck flew into a oak tree and died.....he zigged when he should have zagged.

Less than an hour ago .....I was in my truck and saw four piglets on my side of the fence under a oak......didn't see thier momma........so I jumped out I grabbed one as he was trying to get through the fence but I couldn't get a leg and lost him. I chased his litter mate in a big circle but he made it through the fence too. I am standing there laughing.......then I hear a grunt....I ran as fast as I could back to my truck......but she didn't cross the fense after me.It just seemed like a fun thing to do......but man was it stupid.

 

[reddog5]

I posted this before but what the heck i love it!

I took CaHunter189 (my little brother) on his first pig hunt in King City. We both scored! CaHunter (sorry dude!) Went thru like 3 boxes of ammo before he finnaly got his pig! After he ran out of ammo the guide and another fella started giving him THEIR rifles. (His scope rings were loose) Pigs were runnin for their LIVES!!

It was like WW2!!!

He was so excited ( and not used to other peoples guns he kept shootin high. Well he finally got his pig after a few hours and a couple dozen pigs. Anyway i went down the canyon with him to gut it . It was on its stomach so i rolled it over and told him to hold the leg(as to keep it on its back)and he didn't want to touch it! So after about 5 minutes of callin him a bunch of names

he finally agreed. WELL right as he grabbed the front leg i jerked the rear leg and growled. Now he jumped about 10 feet in the air and nearly had a heart attack!!!

He was soooo mad to say the least! But hey .... What are big brothers for!!!

 

[ozstriker22]

Here's one from when I was a kid. A friend of my dads was out hunting back east in 70's. He needed to take a leak so he looked around for some bushes. Evidently there was an electric fence that he didn't notice....

To qoute him: "The electicity ran raight up my pee and straight into ma pee-pee. I falls on ma back with ma pants halfs ways down and I'm screemin and peeing all over maself. Ma friends just stood there laughing while I covered maself in ma own pee!!!"

The guy's still a little off - but I he was that way before the fence.

That story was burned into my mind and to this day I can't pee on any type of wire fence!!!

 

[Heathen]

I saw this while working for Colliers Taxidermy in Uvalde Texas.

This guys wife decided that see wanted to go deer hunting.....after all this is what her husband lived for.....she wanted to see what it was all about.She talked him into taking her hunting. He put her in a stand where no one had ever shot a decent buck.....he still didn't think she was committed. He drops her off at her stand and just climbs into his ......and Bang....what is she shooting at?.....Bang.He get to her stand and she tells him that she shot a buck.......she waited like she was told.....and saw him getting away ......in a different spot.Two bucks...looked like twins.....two prefect shots......two heavy ten points.They scored mid 140'. I asked her if she was looking forward to her next chance to hunt. " No deer hunting is too easy". Oh.....her husband had never killed a buck as nice as those and was kinda kicking himself for not putting her in his stand.

 

[F350]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div>

  Ma friends just stood there laughing while I covered maself in ma own pee!!!" [/b]

Oz,
People are walkin' past my office wondering what the heck I'm laughin' at.
That was the best one yet.

Thanks Man.

 

[superduty]

Ive heard my father tell this one a few times. My grandfather took his son (my uncle) and my father up to the sellway to do some bear and white tail hunting. My father shoots this small black bear and sets out to retrieve it with my uncle. Meanwhile my grandfather kills this timber rattler with a rock and places it on this return trail to camp as a suprise for the boys. These two come down the trail carrying that bear when they came up on the snake. The two of them scared out of their wits drop the bear at which time the air lets out of his lungs and makes that sucker growl like he was still alive. My grandfather hidden in the bushes says those two boys never stopped running untill they hit camp leaving the dead snake and bear on the trail.

 

[gwhunter69]

OZ: You are killing me. I am laughing so hard people in the office think I am crazy.

Superduty:You are NOT helping either...

 

[Kentuck]

My friend was drawn for the Joice Island pig hunt the first year they had it. We hunted hard all day and had only see three pigs, two striped little ones and one huge one that ran away. About an hour before dark we spot about 6 pigs about a half mile away in some tall grass. We take off after them and leave the packs in the truck. The wind betrayed us and we didn't get on the pigs so we start heading back to the truck. Just as we start back my friend asks me if I have any toilet paper and I said no, the packs are back in the truck. Well he starts doing but-cheek-squeeze trot back towards the truck. I should add we had taco bell for lunch. About half way back to the truck he turns and tells me to give him the keys to the truck as he is about to take off running the rest of the way or he will fill his britches. As I'm reaching for the keys I look over his shoulder at the truck and see movement all under the truck. I look closer and there are about 8 pigs under his truck!

One was actually rubbing it's back on a tire! He's standing there with his back to the truck and his hand stuck out waiting for the keys turning redder and redder and starting to threaten me. I tell him there are pigs under the truck and he's gettin mad now! I tell him to look and he does. We sneek within 25 yards of the truck in a dry ditch and 4 pigs walk down the bank and stand broadside, 20 yards away. God I wish I had a gun then. He takes aim and shoots. Doggone pigs are running everywhere. He picks another out and empties. We watched those pigs run clear across the island and never showed any sign or damage. We also didn't find any blood, so after all that no pig. He told me the next day that it was about three more hours before he ended relieving himself. He'll never live that one down.

 

[jaehunt]

My brother and I were hunting the Tejon Ranch in an effort to get my first pig. He had just killed one there 2 or 3 weeks earlier so it was my turn... We saw a group of about 5 pigs over on a ridge a little ways off. We put on about a 20-30 minute stalk on these pigs and get within about 90-100 yards. Two of the pigs are good sized shooters, a black and a white/black spotted one. My brother had another tag so we decided to take them both. I thought that I was clear when I said I wanted to take the white/black hog, it just looked cool. The plan was to shoot on "three." We both take a rest and I begin to count it out (it is my hunt after all). ONE.... TWO.... BANG! My pig drops over dead and I hadn't even gotten to THREE, nor have I pulled the trigger. I looked over at my brother and he said, "What happened, did you miss???" I just stared at him. We had apparently not communicated very well about who was taking which animal. Also, in the heat of the moment my brother "thought" he heard me say three. Oh well, he got another nice hog and we got to keep hunting hogs for a couple of weeks until I finally got mine, which in the end was much bigger with nice choppers. Its still fun to rib him about this hunt every now and then (although he was really sorry about it at the time).

Jason

 

[F350]

Okay,
so I'm telling my buddy about this post and he reminds me of one of our escapades.

Last day of a hog hunt and we're gettin' ready to leave when I spot a turkey off to my left. At the exact same time, my buddy spots another one off to his right. We're about fifty feet apart with him to my right when he gets on the radio to another guy and says "Hey Tim, like turkey?" and then ***BOOM***

All I see is feathers flying around my Turkey (neither of us has stamps) All I can do is drop my Jaw and say WTF. He was pretty surprised too. Seems he was just kidding about taking a Turkey but when he moved his rifle far enough left as to not hit his bird, he put one right under mine. I'm standing there staring at him in utter disbelief the Turkey's gone into the brush and we're 99% sure he didn't hit it buuuut.....We got to spend the next Hour Looking for it just to be positive and of course, it was the toughest terrain on the Ranch. Have to say I was pretty surprised but definately not as surprised as that Bird. Thanks pal!!!

P.S. I won't say his name but if you're reading this, you know who you are.

 

[superduty]

Alright, just remembered another one. My father and myself were hunting quail out of the Palo Verde Blythe area when we see a nice covey of quail walking down the canal road right to us. My dad and I squat down behind this bush on a curve in the road and he turns and tells me when they get close enough I want you to popup and unload your gun. Here I sit watching probably 60 quail in a single file line working there way right to our feet. I start to laugh.

The old man gets mad and tells me to shut up!

I start to laugh harder now and he joins in. Pretty soon I cant see with all the tears in my eyes and he yells shoot!

We both jump up and quail start flying everywhere. After the dust cleared and all shots were fired there wasn't a single bird hit.

Dont know how they all got away but I couldn't stop laughing.

 

[raidernation]

A friend and I have done the same exact thing with the Quail, Actually there were 3 of us, Except one had a single shot

. Two of us unloaded our Auto's,then of course the Single. So 7 shot's fired on about 30-40 birds and not one laying down afterwards. We started the same gigling bit,thinking that we were just going to destroy these birds. They just started jumping up when we were in a full on laugh and unloaded our guns. We were literally rolling on the ground for a good 10 mins.

 

[LeeChul]

Wow the memories are screaming in.

The first time I went duck hunting was with my best friend who said he knew a place where there would be some. So we come up on this pond (with raised levys so you can't see in from the road) and we start crawling to the top. Just as we crest the top the ducks started to fly and there must have been 300 or so, I was shocked but still managed to get off three shots and him the same. After 20 min of serching not a single duck. WTF.!! I was like I shot 3, and he was like I shot 3 too... And the dow was like uh...no...uh I don't see ducks...I swin long time in cold water and I get no ducks...can we go home?

That same Fall my brother and I are mullie hunting in the Owyhee Mnts in Idaho, an area where we had seen lots of big bucks before. We spent thee nights in a tent with snow falling every day and only saw does until the last evening. We were sitting on opposite sides of a wide treed canyon when I see this real tall forked horn coming down a side draw (mind you we had no radios) I'm thinking YAHH, I'm gettin me a buck!! If you've ever seen an Owyhee forked horn you would know the feeling- they feed in the sage brush and grow monster nobbies. Anyways I'm falling this deer with the cross hairs about to shoot when BANG!! And of course I'm to distracted to shoot the deer as it runs away. I then hear my brother, "I got one!!" I thought at least one of us did, but turns out all he had was the remains of one empty Jack Rabbit. So we went home empty- big suprise.

The next year I had borrowed a .308 from a nieghbor and was back in the Owyhees with a good friend who can spot deer without binocs from an incredibly long ways away. We're driving up a canyon just as the sun is coming up and he casually pulls the truck to the side of the road and shuts it off. "I was like what's going on?" Looking all around I saw nothing. He said as he got out of the truck, "well.. do you want your deer or not?" So I followed him looking very puzzled for about a half mile and then he started crawling and so did I. A few yards later the sage brush opened into a clearing and there standing was another monster forked horn -(BTW in the Owyhee units you can only shoot 2 pointers that's 4 pointers for you east of the Mississippi people..) So I take aim and Bang...no dust no movement from the deer, no nothing...my friend looked at me disgusted and said "TRY AGAIN." I take aim and Bang...again nothing...so he asks me if he has to do everything and I'm like NOOO! So then we crawled another 20 yards and we were with in 50 yards of the deer. He said if I couldn't hit him now than there was no hope for me. Well to make an already long story short, I sent 10 shots at that deer (pathetic I know) and never hit him. He just stood there calm as can be and continued to graze. At the last shot my friend was so angry he pulled his knife and started chasing the deer. He would of had it if he hadn't tripped over an old barbwired fence in the sage brush.
-Later we took the gun to the range and it was dead on... We both agreed it "Must have been an angel deer."

The next day I got my deer not too far from that same spot, I will never live that day down though.

This summer a friend here in California went with me to the Stockdale Mnt Area and found out that you shouldn't go to the Westernmost boundry. After and hour or crawling on our hands and knees we realized the way we came was the only way back!! Sometimes my knee still hurts.

That's all I got for now. Hope I didn't bor too many of you

Cheers

 

[Huntin' Foo']

I used to duck hunt in one of the Leslie Salt ponds that surround the Bay Area. One day I had shot a few ducks and my dad decided to get in the boat and do some retrieving. I see him pickup the ducks and then motor the boat behind me. After about 10 minutes I get curious as to where he went so I stand up in the blind. I see him about 150 yards away crouching down in the boat and slowly shouldering his gun. I look out in front of him and see a beautiful bull sprig sitting very proud in the water. As he's readying to shoot I realize it's one of our decoys that's busted loose. I shout at him once "No Dad" and he looks at me and then waves me off. I shout at him a second time and we waves me off again. At that point I jump up on the edge of the blind and start waving my arms back and forth and shouting at him not to shot. He finally got the idea, picked up the decoy and headed back to the blind. His first words to me were, "Son, if that was me I would of let you shoot". We still laugh about it today.

I learned from that experience and about a year later had an interesting day in Costco while shopping with my mom. While in the dairy section she picked up a dozen and a half carton of eggs. She wasn't really paying attention to the carton and got caught up talking with me while still holding the eggs. I looked down and about an inch away from her hand on the egg carton was about the biggest Praying Mantis I've ever seen. It was huge! I thought about gently taking the eggs from her but then I remembered the duck decoy incident with my dad and I just couldn't help myself. In a loud and frightened voice I shouted "Oh my god mom, look at that bug", while pointing at the mantis. There was a frightful scream and a loud crash as my dropped the eggs and took of running. My mom was initially mad but by the time the car stopped in the driveway she was laughing pretty hard...

 

[mattsdad]

GET THIS, I WAS OUT WITH MY BUDDY AND HIS GRAND FATHER ON MY FIRST QUAIL HUNT. WERE IN INDIO CA. WE I HAD JUMPED A FEW QUAIL BUT I COULDN'T HIT A THING. SO WE SET OUT FOR ANOTHER LOCATION BY THIS TIME I WAS TRIGGER HAPPY HAVING JUMPED A FEW MORE QUAIL AND COTTONTAILS ALL OF THE SUDDEN OUT OF THE BRUSH COMES THIS RUCKUS I SEE WHAT I THOUGHT WAS A PHEASANT

IN INDIO!!!! SHOOT AND HIT THE POOR SOB. I PICK IT UP AND CARRY IT TO MY FRIENDS GRANDPA AND AS I WALK UP TO HIM HE ASKS ME WHY I SHOT A ROADRUNNER...

( I'M WAITING FOR THE DAY WHEN I GET A WALL MOUNTED ROADRUNNER FOR MY B-DAY)

 

[Rooster]

I was deer hunting in the Greenhorn Mountains with my family in the 1980s on a typically warm October day in California. We decided to go vist a neighbor. He has a nice little pond fed by a clear cool spring. I just couldn't resist the temptation to go swimming. My Uncle said "Sure, go ahead." So, they continued on the the neighbor's house and I stripped down to my underwear.

I am so ready to wallow around in the cool water. One foot enters, the the next. Slowly I begin to wade into the water Just below my knees. All of a sudden, I feel something nibbling on one toe, then another, then brush against my legs. I shoot straight out of the water, hit the surface, and then I must have ran across the water for 5 yards and hit the dirt bank!

Quickly, I get dressed and run, yes run, to the neighbor's house. I relate my story to everybody. They get a pretty good laugh. My Aunt then grabs a big hunk of old bread and takes me back to the pond.

She tosses that bread into the water and the area around it explodes with activity. A few years earlier my Aunt and Uncle had put 2 catfish into that pond. Over the next few years they multiplied until there were literally a hundred or so fish in that pond. I was attacked by catfish. I am glad I escaped with my life!

 

[Live2hunt]

Well I was pig hunting a property in our hunting club on Christmas day. As I drove up to topped a knoll, a truck slowly rolled down a road on the other side of the canyon and stopped. I saw a guy got out with a rifle, ran a couple of steps, and sat down on his butt resting the rifle on his knee. I put on my bino and looked in the direction where his rifle was pointing and saw four hogs milling around. I heard BOOM and the biggest hog crippled uphill. Then another BOOM and the hog rolled back down to a more levelled ground. The hog laid there on its belly and its head still up. The guy hopped in his truck, drove to about 20 yards of the hog, got out, and walked towards the hog without the rifle. The guy picked up a log near the hog and slowly sneak up behind the hog. He whacked the hog in the head with the log and all hell broke loose. The hog got up and chased after him. He ran towards the truck, jumped-dived into the pickup bed, and the hog went under the truck and crippling down hill into the thick brush. Daylight faded away and I drove towards the guy. He was standing next to his truck with one side of his pant all wet. I asked did he pee in his pant, but he said he kicked the jug of water in the truck bed and spilled on him as he dived in. But the smell was like urine. I asked why he didn't shoot anymore and he said he only hunt with 2 bullets all the time and the rifle was a .243.


L2H