Porked & Pranked

[henmar77]

Yup. I will probably get a timeout for this but...why is this in the "hunting" forum ig-laughing:

There are way to many categories on this forum as it is, don't make it more complicated by suggesting a Farm raised hunting forum. lol.

Cant wait for the details Bruce and my share of the meat . I think we need to have a JHO pig roast at your house!

 

[sancho]

wow..congrat brucie!!

that picture is horrendous.. the sun should really be over the shoulder of the photographer. hehe..but i suppose 700 lbs of hog is difficult to pose.

well done bruce!!

 

[dustin ray]

Ok Bruce I see the porkig-laughing: so where is the pranked:stir pot:

 

[Deleted member 33033]

I don't know if it was food poisioning or a stomach flu but I've been singing to Ralph for two days and just finished the story.

My good friend Ryan from http://wernerfamilytaxidermy.com in Las Vegas invited me out to hunt some private property in Arizona. He told me that the owner of a ranch (nearly 3000 acres) had died and his son…wanting nothing to do with the ranch has set all the animals free. Now some three years later the ranch is no longer in probate, has been sold but the new owner found the property overrun with all kinds of animals and we were to come reduce the population of wildlife that included mt. lions, Russian boar, feral hogs, sheep, goats, coyotes and other things. I was quick to accept and asked if I could use my bow. Ryan said that was okay as long as I packed a rifle as well so that “If I couldn’t get it done” with the bow…I could switch to the rifle because “…I was obligated to kill critters” as this was ADC work. For those unfamiliar with the term, ADC means Animal Damage Control. So I packed up my gear and headed to Vegas with all my gear and enthusiasm.

I arrived Tuesday morning and spent the day like any tourist, drinking, smoking, gambling…rinse and repeat. I hit the pillow at 10PM. The 1am alarm went off all too soon and I was en route to pick up Ryan, his two young boys (Robert & James aged 10 & 12 I believe) along with an older retired gentleman named Bob and we were all headed to Arizona at dark thirty. The diesel Excursion was packed to the hilt. We arrived at the ranch before sunrise and were met by two guys, Scotty & Cooper who were providing assistance getting to the portions of the ranch inaccessible by two wheel drive vehicles. I quickly realized that this was an understatement when the 4X4 leapt and bounced across what was presumably an old trail but seemed more like a goat path. This place was heavy on huge boulders and light on actual soil but was overgrown beyond belief. Located between Kingman and Scottsdale it is very green for Arizona and after 25 minutes of very rough going I began to feel nauseous. What was worse is that we saw no signs of life…the vegetation was that dense. The Toyota stalled on steeper climbs more than once, forcing us to coast backwards down the alleged trail, invariably adding to the Arizona pin-striping that adorned this vehicle. Gunning it up one gulley and down another was somewhat alarming…a few places we hit would have been “killers” for sure if the truck had failed to climb. When we finally parked I said a silent “Thank you Lord!”

We joined the other truck, loaded up our gear and began on foot. It was actually a little chilly still and light was coming on fast so we split into two groups and began looking for sign. There were so many hog tracks and fresh scat it was creepy. As the sun came up and after traveling a half a mile we began seeing hogs. First we spotted a few very small pigs but soon there bigger relatives came into view including one huge hog that had cutters you see from 200 yards thru the binos. This thing looked like it was half Shetland pony, half warthog. I wanted it!

We began our descent from the rocky outcropping overlooking a relatively flat area trying carefully to avoid being seen by the eyes beneath us. The dense brush and many boulders made stalking to within 80 yards pretty basic but then there was little cover. Slowly inching forward I could get no closer than 48 yards and was stuck behind a tree with no more cover. I waited, hoping the ivory adorned Volkswagon I named Farvenruttin’ would come closer.

After 15 minutes I got that weird feeling…the one that crawls down the back of your neck and grips you by the short hairs. That creepy feeling you are being watched. I look behind me and on my six about 70 yards away is a razorback that looks every bit of 250lbs staring right at me. It was menacing and fierce and unafraid. I can’t say I wasn’t a bit uneasy about this because there was nowhere to run to and nowhere to hide. When a second boar popped out behind it my apprehension doubled. I stayed put and kept one eye on the Russian intruders and one on porkzilla. Then after several minutes both Russians began moving towards the big pig. “Great! I thought. They will drive him my way. Alas that was not the case. He began moving even further away. So we backed out of our tree cover and got back into the rocks, then moved laterally 75 yards to try this stalk from another angle.

Once we had moved, we climbed up a large boulder pile expecting to see our target beneath us. No such luck…he had moved to within 10 yards of the tree we were just at. Arrggg!!! We beat it back towards that spot to find the wartpony pacing around where I had been minutes earlier. I tried to line up a shot but the distance was still outside my comfort zone so I waited. Two more feral hogs joined the party and it was getting hard to not get busted. We’d freeze and wait for what seemed like eons for the oinkers to put their heads down again.

Sure enough…the fat boy with the long tusks wandered away and we scrambled laterally again to intercept it. We got back to the boulder pile only to find nothing. Where’d he go? No sign of him. ARRRRGGGGG!!! I began slowly advancing towards a small tree out in the open to see if I locate him. Moments later he comes walking out from the opposite direction I expected. He must have ran off the Russians and was now returning to where he was and as luck would have it, right past me. I nocked an arrow and waited, as he came broadside I drew and 8 yards later, released a slightly quartering shot. The shaft smacked the edge of the shoulder, the most heavily armored spot on a boar. Fortunately the shaft penetrated halfway effectively striking the vitals and caused a very visible limp to Farvenruttin’. He slowly limped away and I quickly nocked another arrow and estimated the range at 40 yards, put the pin on him and released. Apparently he was closer because the arrow passed over his back close enough to shave him. He didn’t like that! He spun and looked directly at me, then went crazy and charged. It seemed surreal. I nock a third arrow as a 700lb pissed off boar with the longest cutters I have ever seen is running at me from within 30 yards. I draw and line up a frontal shot, trying to ignore the pucker behind me and the snorting and grunting from the front. At 10 yards I release the arrow and run for the rocks. The shot stopped him for a nanosecond and then he charged right past as I made it to the safety of the boulder pile. My mouth was dry and I was still in shock at how quickly I went from hunter to bull’s-eye. Minutes later the big boy expired in a shady spot and I was posing for photos. After being dressed and quartered it was found both Montec broadheads reached the vitals within an inch of each other…one from the left shoulder and the second thru the chest near the same shoulder. The cutters were long and curved to the point they were entering the mouth again. The enormous hog continued to bleed for a full 40 minutes. It was amazing how much blood came outta this critter.

The guys we met suggested we keep hunting stating that they had called in a truck with a come-along to load the toad and it would be awhile. It seemed odd to me but Ryan (my taxidermy buddy) was eager to see his sons get on some rams and said he would hang back and help field dress my hog since he was going to be handling the euro mount for me. I began to question my good fortune but there was no waiting around. In retrospect I should have realized the oddness of the availability of a come-along. So we hop into the Toyota with Ryan’s sons (Robert and James) and head to the side of the ranch that is really difficult to get to. “What?!” I couldn’t believe we were going for a ride that made our initial trip look easy. This ride was largely uphill to the rockiest area on Earth. It looked like God had dumped a 20 mile wide bulldozer of monstrous rocks and glassing took a while given all the elevations, shadows and hiding places. We had seen some smallish herds but nothing “impressive” until we ran outta road and had hiked for 30 minutes to a place with a panoramic view. 200’ below us and 240 yards out we spotted em…rams with girth and headgear. Since I was the sole bowhunter it was decided the two boys would remain on the rock pile overlooking the rams while I and Cooper put a stalk on em. These were skittish critters and we had to move slowly and often freeze to avoid detection. It took nearly two hours to close the gap…and in the final 40 yards, believing we were in range I nock an arrow. We inch closer and find the four rams have vanished. WTF?

Cooper climbs a rock pile and begins glassing. We hadn’t been busted…the rams had bedded under a big tree. We close the gap to 24 yards but there’s a new problem…the one ram with the big rack cannot be spotted…they are all bedded down together and we cannot see their horns. We tried tossing pebbles nearby to get em on their feet to no avail. Arrrrrggggg. We decide the situation calls for drastic measures so Cooper backtracks and circles around to approach em from another angle…grunting and baying and shaking branches to get the gang moving. When they get up, they move quickly towards me and I don’t draw until they are 6 yards in front of me. Now I have a new problem…the three with little headgear are surrounding the ram with the nice hornage and I have no shot. ARRGGG! They turn and begin to run away, I follow them with my peep on the center ram. Ten yards, fifteen, twenty five, thirty…still no clear shot. Then it happens, a slight separation at just over 30 yards…running straight away. In a nanosecond I opt to take the shot. The arrow hits precisely where aimed and the ram stops running and goes down in 20 feet in cover. I work my way towards it and deliver a coup de gras shot to the vitals and the deed is done. I had never seen a Texas heart shot before but my nock was sticking right outta the rams behind and the Montec was resting right where it should. The ole ram’s curls were nice enough for a euro mount I am two for two and feeling blessed. That is until I see the tag pinned to the ram’s ear. WTF! My prankster buddy Ryan had taken me a canned hunt! The big pig I shot had already killed an even bigger sow over 1100lbs. The ranch, nearly 3000 acres but surrounded by a low fence with an electrified wire. No wonder those guys were so obliging! As the reality struck me I could not help but feel foolish and completely HAD at the same time. I was never gonna live this one down. There was no family death, no probate, no title transfer…it had all been an elaborate ruse to punk me from the start. I now know the only reason Ryan agreed to stay behind with my hogzilla was because he wasn’t able to contain his laughter. I had taken the bait, swallowed the hook, line and sinker and was about to take the bait again. He and Scotty roared at the success of their prank the moment we drove away to pursue the rams. Turns out the property had been recently purchased for hunting six months prior and they just got a website up at www.arizonahoghunters.com.

So there I am, looking down at this 240lb rambouillet and Cooper comes clean about the nature of the property. At the same time, one of Ryan’s boys (both boys had hung back and watched the stalk from an elevated position) see a ram they want. Using my .300 winmag, James lines up the shot and let’s one go at just over 200 yards, dropping the ram. Not bad for a kid who has never even shot a winmag before. So now we gut and drag the rams to a place where they can be loaded and I am told I gotta help reduce the predator population of the ranch to “pay” for my hunt. Not a problem for me. In fact, I leave next week to happily do just that. It is a target rich environment. While I am there I will take possession of the 300lbs of sausage I had my critters ground into. There’s a nice big ranch house on the property that I’ll have to myself and my 22-250 and Foxpro FX5 will be called into service…something I am pretty excited about.

Now I must say this about Arizona Hog Hunters…unlike some other places, this is a very large and challenging LF operation. You will not find tame animals walking up to you. They are quite wary of bipeds and if they see you they move on. There’s lots of country to cover too. I only saw the fence when we had to toss the rams over it so we could load em to the truck because there was no easy way to get em back to where the vehicle was parked…the terrain is that rugged. I will take photos of the ranch when I return next week so you can see how vertical this place is. If you wanna hunt ram without waiting for the miracle draw then this is one of the few places that offers a truly realistic hunt. Ryan and his boys had chased the rams for two whole days without ever getting within rifle range a week before. So when I inadvertently moved the herd of four rams (by shooting one) to within rifle range for James, he did not hesitate to fire. The sound of the .300WM in the big rocky canyon was impressive…I even heard the THUD of the bullet striking sheep. In fact, James is now wearing that perfectly mushroomed bullet on a chain around his neck. LOL

I got an email from Ryan confirming the cutters on that hog are just slightly over 8’ long. Should be one interesting euro mount.

As for my taxidermist buddy Ryan…I am gonna have a tough time topping this one. Any ideas on how I can pay him back appropriately? I need to one-up him on this prank.

 

[henmar77]

Thanks for posting the story to go along with the picture. However, i don't get the gag. So they invited you to go hunting with them on a pay to hunt ranch, as apposed to hunting property that used to be ranch with animals that were released and became feral?? Way to pull one over on you??????

Nice pig though cant wait to see the mount!

 

[Deleted member 33033]

Thanks for posting the story to go along with the picture. However, i don't get the gag. So they invited you to go hunting with them on a pay to hunt ranch, as apposed to hunting property that used to be ranch with animals that were released and became feral?? Way to pull one over on you??????

Nice pig though cant wait to see the mount!

They got me to commit to having hundreds of lbs of sausage ground (thru a friend), the purchase of two euro mounts and days of ADC work shooting the many coyotes calling the place home now. They wiped out all the lambs that had been born recently. I'm not complaining. The mounts should be impressive. The ram was old.

 

[bmtoth1]

So how much did they charge u to shoot the hog and ram?

 

[slanttop357]

Congrats Bruce you did good.

 

[WoodGrain]

Congrats Bruce you did good.

+1

WoodGrain

 

[Deleted member 33033]

The day cost me $1200. with $600.00 going to the sausage guy, approx $450.00 for taxidermy and a $100.00 gratuity to Cooper and four replacement arrows. I will be attempting to remove unwanted predators from the ranch next week.
I'll plan to bring home some nice coyote tail keychains (for my daughters) and hundreds of pounds of spicy sausage links.

 

[henmar77]

They got me to commit to having hundreds of lbs of sausage ground (thru a friend), the purchase of two euro mounts and days of ADC work shooting the many coyotes calling the place home now. They wiped out all the lambs that had been born recently. I'm not complaining. The mounts should be impressive. The ram was old.

OK, so you went there with the understanding that you were hunting for free, and ended up having to pay $1200? Your a better man then I, that would have pissed me off to no end!

 

[Deleted member 33033]

Hey...at the end of the day I had a great time (hunting in June generally sucks right?) and I have a unique trophy skull and tons of meat and have access to a great predator hunting spot. Heck, from my place I hafta drive 4-6 hrs round trip to hunt coyotes anyway...might as well go outta state and hit em where they thrive. I even have a chance of LEGALLY taking a mt. lion there (depred allowed on the ranch) so I'm good. Many people lose more than $1200. when going to Vegas.

 

[henmar77]

Hey...at the end of the day I had a great time (hunting in June generally sucks right?) and I have a unique trophy skull and tons of meat and have access to a great predator hunting spot. Heck, from my place I hafta drive 4-6 hrs round trip to hunt coyotes anyway...might as well go outta state and hit em where they thrive. I even have a chance of LEGALLY taking a mt. lion there (depred allowed on the ranch) so I'm good. Many people lose more than $1200. when going to Vegas.

Cant blame you for that. I would love to have those opportunities, Bruce! Your right, if this gave you a lifetime of access for free predator hunts that is worth its weight in gold. Let me know if you need any help

 

[bmtoth1]

The day cost me $1200. with $600.00 going to the sausage guy, approx $450.00 for taxidermy and a $100.00 gratuity to Cooper and four replacement arrows. I will be attempting to remove unwanted predators from the ranch next week.
I'll plan to bring home some nice coyote tail keychains (for my daughters) and hundreds of pounds of spicy sausage links.

How much did they charge you to kill the high fence pig and ram?

 

[inchr48]

Let's lighten-up on the High fence comments. I think Bruce explained that this was an overgrown ranch, and how the animals got to be there.

It may not be everyone's "cup of tea", but hunting is hunting (until there is none anymore). I don't care to hunt bear or hogs with dogs, but I'll defend anyone's right to do so. Personally I can't wait to see what 8" cutters look like on the mount.

Let's stick together .................

 

[THE ROMAN ARCHER]

Bruce awesome super wild hunting adventure for sure Bro, great story with scary rides, as I was reading your story I said to myself how is that big guy hanging in there with all that rough terain ,it sounded very physical and tough so I give u credit, great stalking opp's, u can't beat it. Sounds like u got the better end of the deal for sure. Thanks for sharing and have a great day!.....tra

P.s. Congrats on the big Mf pig!

Sent from my ADR6400L using Tapatalk

 

[bmtoth1]

Let's lighten-up on the High fence comments. I think Bruce explained that this was an overgrown ranch, and how the animals got to be there.

It may not be everyone's "cup of tea", but hunting is hunting (until there is none anymore). I don't care to hunt bear or hogs with dogs, but I'll defend anyone's right to do so. Personally I can't wait to see what 8" cutters look like on the mount.

Let's stick together .................

LOL it wasn't an overgrown ranch, that was the BS story his buddy gave him. It is a legit high fence ranch.

 

[Dust feeder]

I wish my friends pulled those kind of pranks on me...

Will you introduce me to Ryan????

 

[Bubblehide]

Bruce, nice write-up, awesome story, and an overall great experience; what more can one ask for.

Congratulations!

 

[Deleted member 33033]

I will have the opportunity to get to know the owner much better next week, he's actually putting me up in his ranch house which I thought was very nice. We'll see how it goes and if he's open to having more predator hunting done by others and/or will allow me to bring a guest or two in the future...I will certainly contact a few of you guys for little 2-3 day getaways. The predator hunting needs to be done midweek though. I think the "anti-fence crowd" (or former fence hunt operators like bm) will have a little more respect for the place when I take some photos of the place. It is typical AZ...everything sticks, stings, scratches, bites and cuts ya...especially the vegetation. Don't they grow any plants without sharp edges, thorns and quills? Youch! Though I didn't encounter any snakes...they are there. And between the topography and brush...you can get lost real fast. Everything looks like everything else. If you've visited the Grand Canyon, you know what I mean. Only here the distances between canyon walls are measured in hundreds of yards and not miles. Their plan is to try and bring other, more exotic animals to the ranch as the business grows and include things like bison, aoudad, etc. The topography is ideal for archers and yes, you will leave with bruises, scratches and sore muscles. No nifty little trails (roads?) like BHCR where you can roll everything to a road. I'll also take my Epic Cam and try to shoot a little video there. Ya know...it may not be "real" hunting per se but for something fun and challenging between turkey and deer season...it beats playing


PS: bm...I don't know if my taxi friend paid for me or did a trade or finagled some other deal but my hunt was on him. I paid the tip, taxi and meat processing fees.
PPS: I was relieved to learn that I still had the stones to stand my ground in the face of a charge…until that moment actually happened I wasn’t sure whether or not I’d sh*t myself and run away screaming like a little girl. LOL