- Joined
- Mar 11, 2001
- Messages
- 70,011
- Reaction score
- 1,003
Author unknown
The Obamatrons know it’s over. All that’s left for them is to throw baggies of urine and scream how it isn’t fair, that life cheated them again somehow. Then they will make up a lie to console themselves that the majority of America didn’t reject them again, but some evil force was at work. That’s why they are still fighting the 2000 election. “The Evil Supreme Court stole it from us!”. No, the Supreme Court said you can have a recount, but you have to recount all of Florida, not just the Democratic strongholds. Three major news organizations went down there determined to prove Gore won by doing their own recount, and came away saying Bush won.
2004 was Ohio. The argument? Kerry was way ahead in the polls but still lost the state. “It must be those evil electronic voting machines (that they demanded,) rigged the vote!”. They had no evidence, and Kerry lost in districts where exit polling showed him with a commanding lead, and they were still using traditional voting methods.
Well, I’m going to give them a Conspiracy Theory head start on the source of this next, crushing defeat.
Nixon.
Yes, Richard M. Nixon, late former President of the United States. Rejected by both Heaven and Hell, his spirit walks the land, reeking havoc on an unsuspecting Democratic Party. It was the ghost of Richard Nixon that whispered into Pelosi’s ear “Obama. Obama. You’ll still be the most powerful female in the land if Obama defeats Clinton”. With that Percocet overdose look in her eye, Pelosi replied “Obama!” Next he went to Harry Reid and said “Obama. Obama. He’s done crooked real estate deals too, just as you have.”. But his words rang hollow and echoed back to him. He looked into Reid’s ear and he could see out to the other side. “Well, if it’s OK with Nancy… Obama!” Reid shouted. And the evil Nixon wroth spread among the Democratic bosses in Washington. “Obama! Obama!” they cried. “Sure, he is the creation of a political machine so corrupt it would embarrass Robert Mugabe, but he talks so nice!” “Obama!” “Obama! We can get funding for the Robert C. Byrd Museum of Critter Droppings and the Edward Kennedy Institute for Peace Though Happy Hour. Obama! Obama!”.
And with all his unholy powers, Nixon went amongst MSNBC and whispered “Obama. Obama. Lift the burden of your white guilt and speak no of evil of Obama. Praise him and make excuses for him, and all will be utopia”. And Nixon placed his hand upon the leg of Chris Matthews, and his leg began to tingle. “Yes! Yes!” cried Mathews “I can feel it! Obama! Obama!”. But selling this Marxist Chicago hack was starting to exceed even his evil powers. “Satan!” Nixon cried, “send me a true spawn of Hell, a man of no morals, to whom truth is a stranger, and lies flow from his mouth like a river!”. The lightening flashed and the thunder rolled. The odor of Just For Men hung heavy in the air. Suddenly, before Nixon he appeared.
Keith Olbermann.
Nixon looked upon Olbermann and said “This knob? Come on, give me a break huh? The high water mark in this guy’s career was a Subway Sandwich commercial. Well, you gotta work with what you got.”. And with MSNBC in hand, he spread his poison around the rest of the media, who drank the brew like free Haigh and Haigh Scotch with glee and cried “Obama! Obama!. I feel so superior to people with real jobs!”. Oprah drank a gulp and cried “Obama!, He’s so sweet and filling, and 0 Weight Watchers points! Obama!”. Almost all the best actors in Hollywood snorted in the evil that Nixon brought them and yelled “Obama! He’ll make people buy ‘Lions for Lambs’ on DVD. We can do a Josie and the Pussycats 2! Obama! Obama! He will make us all reach “Clear”, and protect us from the evil Lords of Xenu! Obama! Obama!”. George Clooney fell to his knees and cried ”Obama! Obama! Now I won’t go to Hell for ‘Leatherheads’! Obama! Obama!”
And the ghost of Nixon smiled as his minions parroted his satanic message of Obama.
And with Hollywood and the Media in his grasp, the evil Nixon spread his message across the land to the masses. All those who opposed him were called racist and abused. “Obama! Obama! Make money at home stuffing envelopes. Obama! Obama! He will outlaw bad luck. Obama! Obama! A rich distant relation will die in Kenya and leave you all his money. Obama! Obama! Personal responsibility is over-rated. Obama! Obama!”. Their blood hot with the fever of Obama, the Democrats ignored all that was bad with Obama and made him their nominee.
Slowly, the Nixon evil began to wear off. “What have we done?” they began to ask. “This guy is an influence peddler, who used his office to enrich himself. His best friend is an unrepentant domestic terrorist. He has no experience in anything resembling leadership, and the only thing he has ever really run is his mouth, and he’s had limited success with that. He flip-flops like a full net of tuna dumped on the deck of a boat. He was only in the Senate for less than 150 days, and his greatest accomplishment during that time was finding the Men’s Room. And he picked the biggest hack in Washington to run with. Oh God, What have we done?”
And the Ghost of Nixon smiled. “Maybe I was a crook, but at least I’m not a moron”.
So all you Democrats listen. Be good, or the ghost of Nixon will make you pick another loser again. Tell this story around the Democratic campfire as your burning all those unused Obama yard signs.
The Obamatrons know it’s over. All that’s left for them is to throw baggies of urine and scream how it isn’t fair, that life cheated them again somehow. Then they will make up a lie to console themselves that the majority of America didn’t reject them again, but some evil force was at work. That’s why they are still fighting the 2000 election. “The Evil Supreme Court stole it from us!”. No, the Supreme Court said you can have a recount, but you have to recount all of Florida, not just the Democratic strongholds. Three major news organizations went down there determined to prove Gore won by doing their own recount, and came away saying Bush won.
2004 was Ohio. The argument? Kerry was way ahead in the polls but still lost the state. “It must be those evil electronic voting machines (that they demanded,) rigged the vote!”. They had no evidence, and Kerry lost in districts where exit polling showed him with a commanding lead, and they were still using traditional voting methods.
Well, I’m going to give them a Conspiracy Theory head start on the source of this next, crushing defeat.
Nixon.
Yes, Richard M. Nixon, late former President of the United States. Rejected by both Heaven and Hell, his spirit walks the land, reeking havoc on an unsuspecting Democratic Party. It was the ghost of Richard Nixon that whispered into Pelosi’s ear “Obama. Obama. You’ll still be the most powerful female in the land if Obama defeats Clinton”. With that Percocet overdose look in her eye, Pelosi replied “Obama!” Next he went to Harry Reid and said “Obama. Obama. He’s done crooked real estate deals too, just as you have.”. But his words rang hollow and echoed back to him. He looked into Reid’s ear and he could see out to the other side. “Well, if it’s OK with Nancy… Obama!” Reid shouted. And the evil Nixon wroth spread among the Democratic bosses in Washington. “Obama! Obama!” they cried. “Sure, he is the creation of a political machine so corrupt it would embarrass Robert Mugabe, but he talks so nice!” “Obama!” “Obama! We can get funding for the Robert C. Byrd Museum of Critter Droppings and the Edward Kennedy Institute for Peace Though Happy Hour. Obama! Obama!”.
And with all his unholy powers, Nixon went amongst MSNBC and whispered “Obama. Obama. Lift the burden of your white guilt and speak no of evil of Obama. Praise him and make excuses for him, and all will be utopia”. And Nixon placed his hand upon the leg of Chris Matthews, and his leg began to tingle. “Yes! Yes!” cried Mathews “I can feel it! Obama! Obama!”. But selling this Marxist Chicago hack was starting to exceed even his evil powers. “Satan!” Nixon cried, “send me a true spawn of Hell, a man of no morals, to whom truth is a stranger, and lies flow from his mouth like a river!”. The lightening flashed and the thunder rolled. The odor of Just For Men hung heavy in the air. Suddenly, before Nixon he appeared.
Keith Olbermann.
Nixon looked upon Olbermann and said “This knob? Come on, give me a break huh? The high water mark in this guy’s career was a Subway Sandwich commercial. Well, you gotta work with what you got.”. And with MSNBC in hand, he spread his poison around the rest of the media, who drank the brew like free Haigh and Haigh Scotch with glee and cried “Obama! Obama!. I feel so superior to people with real jobs!”. Oprah drank a gulp and cried “Obama!, He’s so sweet and filling, and 0 Weight Watchers points! Obama!”. Almost all the best actors in Hollywood snorted in the evil that Nixon brought them and yelled “Obama! He’ll make people buy ‘Lions for Lambs’ on DVD. We can do a Josie and the Pussycats 2! Obama! Obama! He will make us all reach “Clear”, and protect us from the evil Lords of Xenu! Obama! Obama!”. George Clooney fell to his knees and cried ”Obama! Obama! Now I won’t go to Hell for ‘Leatherheads’! Obama! Obama!”
And the ghost of Nixon smiled as his minions parroted his satanic message of Obama.
And with Hollywood and the Media in his grasp, the evil Nixon spread his message across the land to the masses. All those who opposed him were called racist and abused. “Obama! Obama! Make money at home stuffing envelopes. Obama! Obama! He will outlaw bad luck. Obama! Obama! A rich distant relation will die in Kenya and leave you all his money. Obama! Obama! Personal responsibility is over-rated. Obama! Obama!”. Their blood hot with the fever of Obama, the Democrats ignored all that was bad with Obama and made him their nominee.
Slowly, the Nixon evil began to wear off. “What have we done?” they began to ask. “This guy is an influence peddler, who used his office to enrich himself. His best friend is an unrepentant domestic terrorist. He has no experience in anything resembling leadership, and the only thing he has ever really run is his mouth, and he’s had limited success with that. He flip-flops like a full net of tuna dumped on the deck of a boat. He was only in the Senate for less than 150 days, and his greatest accomplishment during that time was finding the Men’s Room. And he picked the biggest hack in Washington to run with. Oh God, What have we done?”
And the Ghost of Nixon smiled. “Maybe I was a crook, but at least I’m not a moron”.
So all you Democrats listen. Be good, or the ghost of Nixon will make you pick another loser again. Tell this story around the Democratic campfire as your burning all those unused Obama yard signs.
