karstic

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I've never hunted for pig before, so what should I do to prepare (physically, equipment, mentally) for the JHO Ham Slam?
 

Speckmisser

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Well, you've gone and done it this time!

Equipment-wise... well, that's easy. Just look through these pages and you'll see a simple, straightforward answer to your question. As you can see, everyone here is in total agreement on the single best weapon, scope, and ammunition.

Physically... well, that's different.

First of all, I'd strongly recommend getting the heaviest, sturdiest pack you can find. Now, fill that pack with 80lb sacks of concrete mix. You can start light, and only use two sacks at first. You'll need to work your way up to four sacks before May.

Now, take that pack and go find a 10 story building. Climb straight to the top. No stairs allowed, use the outside walls. Don't worry about those cops, nobody is gonna be crazy enough to try to come up and get you.

Repeat this exercise every other day until the hunt date.

Now, on the off days, you'll want to go out and pick a couple of bushels of poison oak. Dump it in your bathtub. Bring in five or six space heaters, and crank 'em up until the paint starts peeling. Climb into the bathtub and roll around with abandon. Then jump out and do 100 jumping jacks. Every hour or so, have someone come in and turn on the shower with ice-cold water.

After four hours of this activity, put on your pack, run down to the grocery store, strip naked, and climb into the deep freeze. Don't dry off first, you'll want to be soaking wet.

On the way home, find a blackberry patch and dive in. Crawl on all fours through the brambles. Don't come out until dark.

Follow this regimen until May 20. This should just about get you in shape for road hunting. If you want to actually get off the roads, you'll need to work out twice as hard.

Finally... mental preparation.

Drink heavily until 0200 every night. Sleep in a rock garden. Wake up at 0400. Perform the afore-mentioned physical training exercises until dusk. Then start drinking again.

Give up sex. Have your spouse/significant other flirt and tease without mercy, but at the moment of surrender, they should withhold the prize. Finally, when you can't stand it anymore, have her wait naked on the top of a 10 story building on a picnic blanket with a bottle of wine, some fine cheeses, and candles. Climb the building as prescribed earlier, with the pack and four sacks of concrete.

When you reach the top, just as you're ready to claim victory, have her nonchalantly walk to the elevator and get in... going to the ground floor without you. Repeat this process until you no longer have the overwhelming desire to fling yourself headlong off the roof.

Buy the slickest tires you can find. Drive to a narrow, winding, steep, off-kilter, one-lane road on a cliff. Coat the road with 8-12 inches of Vaseline. Drive along the edge glassing the distant hillsides with binoculars.

By May, this should have your senses functioning at the appropriate level. Your ability to absorb frustration will be almost perfect. Your driving skills will be honed to a razor's edge. And of course, going that long without sex will make you totally unafraid of pain and death.

That should just about do it.

<


Or, prepare as you would for a deer hunt. Get out and hike a few hours a week, spend a lot of time at the range, and learn all you can about pigs. For the most part, a hog hunt at Tejon is exactly like chasing deer.
 

oneclearshot

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Man, Speck!.....What an "Oratory" :) You should be writin' for Seinfeld !!! But I'm glad you're with us instead, it would be "OUR" great loss if otherwise! After hearing ALL that...I'm reminicent of a "Late Season" hunt for Elk in Colorado one year.....so I guess I'm almost ready for the Slam!!! Only time will tell...Look forward to seeing all of you there! Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha,
Bob
 

pbrdog

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<
Wow Speck. that would probably scare the average hunter. But not a pig hunter.
<
 

grtwythunter

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Anybody riding with Speckmisser will also need plenty of clean undies too.
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Scott

It's worse than it looks
 

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Hunter29

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LOL That was funny as hell Speck. From what I've heard, a four wheel drive is pretty much required for up there. Speck is right on the money for preparation.
 

dreaminhogs

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Speck do me a favor. Next time you decide to give advice again warn me so I can go get some depends cause I think I just wet myself.
<
 

heldog

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boy Speck, i sure am glad you sugar coated your words.
next time just be straght forward.
 

Speckmisser

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Russ,

Glad to see you around, bro... where ya been?

Soggy boots? Man, by the time you got done hauling OTHER PEOPLE'S pigs out of the canyons, you should've been soggy all over. You worked your butt off, brudda... and all for other folks.

If anybody deserves to get one, you do. You think you can make it in May?
 

rusman66

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I am still here Speck. Just hangin in the shadows.

I thought I wanted to be a Hunter, but after hunting with onetrack and fairchase the closest I think I can get is a Wannabe.

But of course I wouldn't miss the Hamslam.

I am already working on my disguise so Don doesn't recognize me
<

And I won't be available for pig hauling after dark on sunday (sorry)
<
 

songdog

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That actually sounds more like training for chukar hunting.....

The better shape you're in the more fun you'll have and the better the probability that you'll come home with pork in the cooler. Actually, if you've ever been chukar hunting, this is quite a bit easier (unless you shoot one then you have a 150lb chukar in your vest).

One of the guys that I went with last week didn't get a pig. He shot and missed a pretty easy one @ 40 yards but after climbing back up to the truck we found some more but he was too tired to take the hike down to get them. You don't want to pass on one because you're too tired to get to/from it. That being said, there is a point where you have to conceed that getting a 300lb pig 4 miles and 2000 vertical feet back to the truck might not be the best use of your time. There are lots of pigs on the ranch and odds are you can probably find one that's a little easier to retrieve. Know your limitations.

As far as gear - a frame pack will definitley help if you shoot something that needs to be cut into pieces.

My pack contained - two knives, small hatchet, saw, water, first aid kit, 50' rope, block and tackle, baby wipes, leather gloves, flashlight, LED headlight, game bag, digital camera, mini tripod, wool cap, map, lighter, lenspen and SAK.

The block & tackle can be really useful and they actually have enough trees up there to warrant it.

Leather gloves are nice if you have to drag one of those critters as they don't have the convenient handles growing out of their heads that the deer do.

You could be out long after dark so a pair of flashlights would be recommended. One bright one for "what's that noise in the bushes" and a second LED headlamp with 100 hours of battery time that you can use without hands to field dress in the dark or walk out without your hands since you're dragging 150lbs of pork.

I also wouldn't underestimate the value of a GPS. I've never actually been lost in the woods and as big as Tejon is, you'll still have enough traffic to keep you from getting lost for three days - but I was very happy to have a GPS in the Bronco when the fog rolled in so thick that you couldn't see 20 feet. We crawled back the 7 miles to camp looking at the GPS more than the road. It was like flying IFR.

One strategy piece that may help if you're hunting with more than one person - like most critters, the pigs are most active at first/last light. If you happen to shoot one during one of those times, field dress it by yourself and let the other guy(s) in your party keep hunting during those prime hours. Once it's past 9am or dark at night, then enlist their help to get the pork back to the truck. No sense in wasting good hunting time. Even if the temps are warm, this small amount of extra time shouldn't pose a spoiling problem.

On that note - make sure the coolers are filled with ice {before} you get up there, not after you have a pig on the ground.
 

BDB

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Very nice speck. Only issue is that with my hernia surgey only 2 days ago laughter is NOT the best medicine right now
<


Worth the pain though
<
 

Speckmisser

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Oh Songbird's all serious and stuff...
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But of course, he's pretty dead-on right too. Sorry Karstic, for not giving you a more direct answer to your question.
<


On, and sorry to Steve, too. I should've put on a warning sign for post-op Hernia patients. Didn't realize it was that funny.
<
 

BDB

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Speck: I forwarded your reply to my wife and her best friend. They both think we are nuts for what we go through to chase critters. Though you might get a kick out of her reply (wifes friend).

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div>
THAT was beautiful. the bathtub training and the blackberry patch were
really funny. i can see how that would be a bad thing for a guy just out of
surgery!

i'd almost feel sorry for you guys if i thought you had a shred of sanity
left.[/b]
 

karstic

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Originally posted by Speckmisser@Feb 5 2004, 12:08 PM
Buy the slickest tires you can find. Drive to a narrow, winding, steep, off-kilter, one-lane road on a cliff. Coat the road with 8-12 inches of Vaseline. Drive along the edge glassing the distant hillsides with binoculars.
Speck are you still offering off-road driving lesson?

Sounds like fun, I can't wait
<
 

karstic

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Originally posted by Speckmisser@Feb 6 2004, 11:32 AM
But of course, he's pretty dead-on right too. Sorry Karstic, for not giving you a more direct answer to your question.
Actually, between your and Songdog's post, I've got a pretty good idea of what I'm in for.
 

karstic

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Originally posted by songdog@Feb 6 2004, 10:58 AM
My pack contained - two knives, small hatchet, saw, water, first aid kit, 50' rope, block and tackle, baby wipes, leather gloves, flashlight, LED headlight, game bag, digital camera, mini tripod, wool cap, map, lighter, lenspen and SAK.
What's a SAK?
 
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