gnn961
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Since this hasn't been been brought up in a few years (04) I thought I would post Speck's training regimen for the hunters hitting Tejon for the first time.
First of all, I'd strongly recommend getting the heaviest, sturdiest pack you can find. Now, fill that pack with 80lb sacks of concrete mix. You can start light, and only use two sacks at first. You'll need to work your way up to four sacks before May.
Now, take that pack and go find a 10 story building. Climb straight to the top. No stairs allowed, use the outside walls. Don't worry about those cops, nobody is gonna be crazy enough to try to come up and get you.
Repeat this exercise every other day until the hunt date.
Now, on the off days, you'll want to go out and pick a couple of bushels of poison oak. Dump it in your bathtub. Bring in five or six space heaters, and crank 'em up until the paint starts peeling. Climb into the bathtub and roll around with abandon. Then jump out and do 100 jumping jacks. Every hour or so, have someone come in and turn on the shower with ice-cold water.
After four hours of this activity, put on your pack, run down to the grocery store, strip naked, and climb into the deep freeze. Don't dry off first, you'll want to be soaking wet.
On the way home, find a blackberry patch and dive in. Crawl on all fours through the brambles. Don't come out until dark.
Follow this regimen until May 22nd. This should just about get you in shape for road hunting. If you want to actually get off the roads, you'll need to work out twice as hard.
Finally... mental preparation.
Drink heavily until 0200 every night. Sleep in a rock garden. Wake up at 0400. Perform the afore-mentioned physical training exercises until dusk. Then start drinking again.
Give up sex. Have your spouse/significant other flirt and tease without mercy, but at the moment of surrender, they should withhold the prize. Finally, when you can't stand it anymore, have her wait naked on the top of a 10 story building on a picnic blanket with a bottle of wine, some fine cheeses, and candles. Climb the building as prescribed earlier, with the pack and four sacks of concrete.
When you reach the top, just as you're ready to claim victory, have her nonchalantly walk to the elevator and get in... going to the ground floor without you. Repeat this process until you no longer have the overwhelming desire to fling yourself headlong off the roof.
Buy the slickest tires you can find. Drive to a narrow, winding, steep, off-kilter, one-lane road on a cliff. Coat the road with 8-12 inches of Vaseline. Drive along the edge glassing the distant hillsides with binoculars.
By May, this should have your senses functioning at the appropriate level. Your ability to absorb frustration will be almost perfect. Your driving skills will be honed to a razor's edge. And of course, going that long without sex will make you totally unafraid of pain and death.
That should just about do it.
First of all, I'd strongly recommend getting the heaviest, sturdiest pack you can find. Now, fill that pack with 80lb sacks of concrete mix. You can start light, and only use two sacks at first. You'll need to work your way up to four sacks before May.
Now, take that pack and go find a 10 story building. Climb straight to the top. No stairs allowed, use the outside walls. Don't worry about those cops, nobody is gonna be crazy enough to try to come up and get you.
Repeat this exercise every other day until the hunt date.
Now, on the off days, you'll want to go out and pick a couple of bushels of poison oak. Dump it in your bathtub. Bring in five or six space heaters, and crank 'em up until the paint starts peeling. Climb into the bathtub and roll around with abandon. Then jump out and do 100 jumping jacks. Every hour or so, have someone come in and turn on the shower with ice-cold water.
After four hours of this activity, put on your pack, run down to the grocery store, strip naked, and climb into the deep freeze. Don't dry off first, you'll want to be soaking wet.
On the way home, find a blackberry patch and dive in. Crawl on all fours through the brambles. Don't come out until dark.
Follow this regimen until May 22nd. This should just about get you in shape for road hunting. If you want to actually get off the roads, you'll need to work out twice as hard.
Finally... mental preparation.
Drink heavily until 0200 every night. Sleep in a rock garden. Wake up at 0400. Perform the afore-mentioned physical training exercises until dusk. Then start drinking again.
Give up sex. Have your spouse/significant other flirt and tease without mercy, but at the moment of surrender, they should withhold the prize. Finally, when you can't stand it anymore, have her wait naked on the top of a 10 story building on a picnic blanket with a bottle of wine, some fine cheeses, and candles. Climb the building as prescribed earlier, with the pack and four sacks of concrete.
When you reach the top, just as you're ready to claim victory, have her nonchalantly walk to the elevator and get in... going to the ground floor without you. Repeat this process until you no longer have the overwhelming desire to fling yourself headlong off the roof.
Buy the slickest tires you can find. Drive to a narrow, winding, steep, off-kilter, one-lane road on a cliff. Coat the road with 8-12 inches of Vaseline. Drive along the edge glassing the distant hillsides with binoculars.
By May, this should have your senses functioning at the appropriate level. Your ability to absorb frustration will be almost perfect. Your driving skills will be honed to a razor's edge. And of course, going that long without sex will make you totally unafraid of pain and death.
That should just about do it.
